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Author Topic: LDR girlfriend hanging out with a new random guy one-on-one

January 27, 2019, 10:31:11 AM
Read 2923 times


We dated for a couple of months before we realized we loved each other and then I had to move to a different country for 8 months now and I ll be back to live with her in 2 months.
She s doing an internship at a company and she met this intern guy who was kind to her, but the guy finished his internship after the first week she was there, so they only saw each other at work for a week. On his last day, he asked her out for a beer as it was his last day but just the two of them. I thought OK this is a goodbye so no big deal. but the guy lives in the same city and he asked her out again on my gf's birthday and he was going to give her chocolate (!). Apparently they have been texting since then. I told my gf that I m not comfortable as why hang out one-on-one with a guy you just met last week at bars and he knows about your birthday, so she says I was feeling lonely so I said yea we could meet at a bar but you are right I will say I m not feeling well tonight. The question is: given that the guy knows she has a boyfriend, are her and his behaivor disrespectful as I don't think they stop texting and he ll have other occasions coming up next weeks?   

January 27, 2019, 11:36:22 AM
Reply #1


He may not know she has a boyfriend.  In fact, I'd be surprised if she had told him, given how much she likes the attention.

Don't worry about HIM.  It's your girlfriend who has a wandering eye.
"But the rain is full of ghosts tonight, that tap upon the glass and listen for reply."

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

February 10, 2019, 03:07:35 PM
Reply #2


   Previous poster is so right. The guy himself is of no threat to you. He can't make her do anything. I personally went through this in a LDR. We were long distance for about a year and a half. While we were long distance I found out she had this guy friend she talked to. She would skip out on conversations with me to talk to him. it hit the fan.i told her not to talk to him anymore. We finally moved in together and a few months later I see his number on her phone. They had been sexting. I sent myself the messages. Called the guy and him if he as much as texted her am explanation as to why he was disappearing i would forward all the messages to his wife. 

      But the most painful part was I had been a part of her life for so long and she had been talking to him a while. Yet when I called him, he didn't know I existed. Do yourself a favor. Find a new girl. Girls like that open doors seeking attention, validation, whatever. When you get upset, you're the bad guy because they were "just friends". She won't change. I put myself through it time and time again hoping it would be different. Find someone that can be open and honest with you.

May 21, 2019, 12:21:02 AM
Reply #3


Something I wish I practiced the way I preached is communication. You should sit your girlfriend down and have an honest discussion with her about how you feel. Don't let it bottle up inside; it'll only drive you crazy.

May 23, 2019, 08:41:27 AM
Reply #4


Don't worry about anyone your girlfriend talks to. These issues are between you and your girlfriend. You're with her. Not the other guys she's talking to. If she can't respect that youre not comfortable with her hanging out with him and texting him like she is, maybe you 2 can work something out or just move on :(

October 20, 2019, 07:13:15 PM
Reply #5


I agree that the bigger problem is that once you told her you were uncomfortable, she did not stop contact with the man. For example, if she told you the color purple made her nauseous, you would stop wearing the color purple around her because you don't care enough about purple. If her hanging out with this guy one on one upsets you, she should not hang out with the guy because she shouldn't care enough about him.


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