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Author Topic: I think i found my other half but.......

May 27, 2019, 03:36:14 PM
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Offline

ioanilo4


So... i have a lot to write and i hope you can read this and answer me cause i would be really thankful!

There is that guy i met online lets call him John...
So John and I been talking for 3 weeks now...but at the first 3 days of our chatting it felt like we knew each other for years! We have a bunch of things in common and we are a lot alike in our personalities...
We felt so close that we were really thinking that this cant be real and even were joking about being soulmates or having met in a past life...this feeling of instant connection was new for us both but we loved it!
In the 3rd day John even said he could come to my country and meet me(yeah we even live in different countries).He told me a several times that he liked me a lot and that he wants things to work between us.

But then suddenly he became distant i was worried that something was wrong and i did something wrong.
One day he told me that there is a reason he would be late at replying or he would say goodnight but still be online after that(without me asking for the reason).He suffers with severe depression and even tried to end his life.He said that because of this there are times he just cant talk and needs time to himself.I said that i totally understand this as i have been depressed and wanted to end my life too and that i will be trying to give him the time he needed.John said that he doent want to f***  things up so he is trying to keep talking to me. I know he has a real problem cause he is even skipping school and failing all the exams.I am worried about him and i know that there is nothing i can do to help him appart from just being there for him...

But now the real problem starts...One thing i cant stand is me feeling like i care more than others do...i have hurt a lot in the past because i cared too much and people didnt...I have told john only half of this...i just told him that i dont like the ''I wont reply so she thinks i am cool'' games and that i might get bored to easily but in fact i dont get bored but hurt.
So everytime i am writing him and he wont reply for hours i get hurt...i feel like he doesnt care even though he says he does...I get depressed and lose all my will to keep on living my everyday life...

I know he is a good guy and he has so many personality qualities i could say he is ideal for me...appart the fact that i need to talk and he doesnt have this need.
I feel like im stupid and crazy to take this so seriously...
Now 2 days back i texted him and he wanst replying like for 4 hours and i got depressed and so mad about the fact that i were looking at my phone hoping he replied every 5 minutes.So i decided to just delete all the apps i communicate with peole(even my friends)

Now i have no clue abou what to do next...maybe i should talk to him about this? but im worried that this will make him feel bad...
Maybe i should stop talking with him? even though this is something i totally dont want but i cant keep on feeling this way anymore...
I want to be there for him but this situation is killing me...I feel like im too selfless and selfish at the same time.

I would really appreciate some advice!
Thank you if you read all this :)

May 29, 2019, 03:34:31 PM
Reply #1
Offline

kira.hasumii


omg can we be friends????? :-[

I am currently going through this same thing and your post kinda open my eyes. I have tried to end my life as well and suffered severe depression for a long time so yea that is true at times you really just dont want to talk to anyone and just be alone even when it comes down to the person you really love sometimes you distance yourself from them too especially because you dont want to feel like a burden to them. I also understand feeling like you care more but honestly i always believe that it is best to let yourself feel everything and learn why you feel that way. Being in tune with your emotions can help you control how you react to certain things.

I have been sad and crying and just laid in bed because of all the hurt i felt, but you have done all you can do and you just have to leave the ball in his court. I know you dont want to stop talking to him (cause i dont want to stop talking to my guy either) but just for try to give him space and maybe hang out with friends. I didnt want to hang out with my friends because i was just so sad and was thinking like this cant be happening again because i have been through back to back heartache but hanging out with friends does help.

a few questions:
-do you make you feel sick not talking to him?
- does your heart race and you become anxious?

The best thing to do that i had to learn was just give it time as hard as it is, he really can be scared of not wanting to mess things up and he feels like his depression could.


 

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