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Author Topic: Boyfriend agrees to move to my country - but doesn't seem bothered to do it

March 31, 2020, 08:19:44 PM
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Poppy


Heya guys!

In a nutshell: Me boyfriend (english, 34) and I (living in Germany, 29) are dating for a bit over a year. Since I'll be done with my degree next summer, we need to decide which direction our relation is supposed to go.
He is in the army, I'll be an early years teacher from 2021.

I do not want a future life with someone in the army, so we agreed he'd leave it to become an electrician. First we said I'd move to England then. After some research though, it became very clear, I'd be much much worse off in England, than I'd be in Germany - same for an electrician in England vs. Germany.

So, after many months of talking, he kinda agreed to move here. He wants to do the degree in Germany then, ofc he'd need to speak German for it. Initial idea was, that he'd start the degree summer 2021...here´s my problem now!

Ever since, he shows NO sign whatsoever to actually making plans to reality, as in: Start learning German (I studied German and English at University to become a high school teacher, I can very well teach him!), never really brings the topic up and when I address it, he seems to dodge it and repeats over and over again: It's not an easy decision, there is much on the cards for him, it's so much at once...learning German, moving here, kinda relying up on me, dealing with his two houses in England etc.

I kinda start thinking that he is waiting for me magically to decide that I'll come to England after all - which will not happen...and I keep telling him.

I dunno what to do or what to think of this...as in, should I just break up, because he'll probably never come anyway?

Please no advice that I shall sit down with him to talk. I'm an adult woman, decently intelligent, trust me, I tried it this way! :D :D I know how to have a calm, non-judging talk, but he always goes quiet or rather dodges it.

Replies are more than welcome!

Cheerio :D

 

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