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Author Topic: Am I being too much? Am I driving him away?

May 21, 2019, 04:38:50 AM
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bella111


Hey ladies, I need your help. I need clear cut, honest relationship advice, from people who are not biased and knows neither person. I will try to portray as much as his side as I go so that it’s representative & you can understand his side too. So I am travelling. My partner is on the other side of the world. We’ve been doing long distance. It’s been tough. Last 6 months he’s been very distant & cold, aloof at times. We’ve went from daily calls, to no calls, me to sometimes having him reply to me 8 hours later (during his awake time), sometimes he reads my mails and doesn’t reply and sometimes he will reply to like 50% of what I say. The shift is significant. Before I had his full attention it felt, and that’s with being the other side of the world. I asked him why he’s distant. He says he has pulled away & is aware he has. But he struggles with long distance & cannot fully be invested in me, because I am not with him in the now. So he’s essentially taking a back seat, won’t get with anyone, but will pull back a bit and wait which will hopefully stop our silly bickering we’ve been having. I’ve accepted this as I don’t want to break up. The weekend past, he and I had a fall out, silly fall out, that resulted in neither of us talking to each other. When we did speak, I was shocked to hear, he went to a body building competition with his female friend and her boyfriend. I mean, sure it does annoy me thinking he was watching girls run about in bikinis, but that’s not something to be mad about (or should I?-thoughts). My issue lies in his behaviour with this friend. Now she has a bf. I don’t think she would cheat on her bf. But anyways, he never ever posts on my wall, he never tags me in anything, he is completely isolated from my Facebook, never likes what I share. I never gave any thought to this. Then, I realise the Saturday of her body building competition he posted a photo of him and some other gym friends saying how proud they all are of her. On top of that I realised that all her gym posts she shares, he also shares on his page too. Now I told him this, how it upsets me he shares a pic of him and a good luck on her wall for a competition but didn’t even post a happy birthday on my wall on my birthday & his reaction was so futile. He was angry. Started bringing up past arguments, said I don’t let him live, I scrutinise everything he does & he doesn’t post on my wall because he “doesn’t post on Facebook & hasn’t posted on Facebook in over a year”. I reminded him he used to post on his ex girlfriends page and he replied “that was years ago”. Literally feels like he never listens or attempts to see my side of anything. Our fall out escalated and he was literally turning my issue, into it all being my fault. Like I’m the one who doesn’t let him live and I’m over thinking because he doesn’t use Facebook to post? I’m worried now after this fight, that I’ve been completely unreasonable & if I am (pending your opinions), I will apologise & fix it. However, if many others understand my viewpoint, if you was in my shoes, how would you handle this going forwards? What would you all do? I can over react at things. But also, I can be pushed around a lot too. And it’s one of them things I don’t know if I’m right or wrong. I’m so upset & it’s literally like he doesn’t give a shit about me.

Also - while I think about it, is it not a bit weird to go watch a workmate, prance about on stage in a bra and a thong with her bf and her mum to “show her support”. I mean, is that just me who thinks that’s a little bit creepy?

 

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