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Author Topic: Why it's hard for single men to find a date in today's world

November 24, 2020, 05:20:55 PM
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herkamer63


Ever since myself and this woman I dated earlier this season stopped, it's been very difficult to find someone to go out and have a good time with. Today, in our world, it has been hard for single men, like myself, to find someone to try and connect with. Now, much of this is based on my own experience, but I want to go over a few reasons as to why it's difficult for single men to score a date.

First and foremost, to get the obvious out of the way, we have this pandemic (which, if you ask me, isn't as dangerous as it's made out to be), and it has people in a panic. So it's easy to say that getting a date in these conditions, especially with all these lockdown and health orders, is very difficult and no fault of our own. Although, I will say, some of this can be lifted so getting together with people is much more possible. Nevertheless, it's frustrating and we should all hope this thing is over soon, at least with these restrictions. However, even before the virus, it's been hard for single men to find love with women. It's just these restrictions put more icing on the cake.

Another reason is many (but not all) women in today's world have been conditioned, in such a way, where they don't respect men as much as what women of the past use to. Now, I'm not saying give men everything they want, but rather respecting men in the way that they want to work hard, whether it be at the place of their employment or trying to put the woman ahead of them (being a gentlemen). Much of this conditioning comes from a variety of different sources. A broken home is one of them. The lack of a (good) father turns people off to masculinity in men.

Education is another big one, especially in women studies. Being taught that women are no different from men, although there are obvious differences, such as physicality, mentality, and even personality. What they teach in these education courses when preaching the idea that men and women are the same is if there are no differences then there's no reason to have men in their lives (except to sleep with or to show them off as trophies, which I'll get into momentarily).

The other sources come from entertainment and social media, where it simply fuels the idea even further that women don't need men. If these normal sized women on TV and movies (which are mainly works of fiction) can beat up full grown men, then there's no reason to have  men as protectors. In social media, many enjoy showing themselves off and people love them. And if people love them for who they are, what's the need for a guy making them feel desirable when you have a fan club that does that for them?

Despite what was listed, there are women who DO want relationships... but many of them have unrealistic expectations in what they want in a man. A study that was conducted about a year or two ago revealed that among single women, they want men who have an extremely high college degree, high paying luxurious job (with benefits), good looking (both in body and face), and has that bad boy attitude. This may sound like something that only women in their late teens and their early twenties want because they're less mature and haven't lived in the real world fully. Well, that's only half true because there are OLDER women that want this too, and they HAVE lived in the real world.

There's nothing wrong with education, but not all guys have college degrees, let alone master degrees, because college has been, to one degree, discouraging men from even going and encouraging more women to attend. Some guys may go through tech schools, community colleges, or even apprenticeships (like what I have done). The education is the same as a normal 4 year school with graduate school available, but they're typically mocked, looked down upon, and even shunned, and anyone that goes through any of that go through that level of treatment.

Like education, nothing wrong with scoring a high paying job. However, luxurious jobs typically would require them to being a part of a board of directors of a major corporation or something the equivalent of it, where they don't have to work as much but they get paid an insane amount of money. It gives them time to travel, go to (or hold) fancy parties, checking out sophisticated restaurants, trying out hundreds of dollars of alcohol, ANYTHING that would be deemed luxurious. In addition to all that, they can gain access to some of the best health care they can get their hands on. The vast majority of men are not in those positions and it's difficult for them to meet those standards.

The other thing to look at is how great looking they are. Supermodel body and face only to many of these women's stipulations, regardless if they have facial hair or not. Issue here is most men don't have those qualities. Not saying that many of us can't look good, but to the degree these supermodels put themselves or are naturally that way is insane. Nothing short of plastic surgery can somewhat fix it, but even then, we typically don't achieve it.

The last thing is the bad boy attitude. A lot of times, it's confused with having confidence. Being a bad boy typically means, well, they're bad. Like not a good person, but just a bad person. Yeah, I get the idea of adventure and a level of danger, but let's face it, major trouble happens. I'm not talking mischief either, but rather law breaking, issues with families and friends, and even changing the woman for the worst. Pop culture has popularized the idea of these kind of men because they portray them as doing bad things with good intentions. Reality betrays that idea with replacing good intentions with bad ones (thank you Bonnie and Clyde). It's a immature young woman's fantasy. Nothing more. Good (confident) men will typically have a woman's best interests in mind, without putting either one into real trouble.

There are so many reasons as to why it's hard for single men to find that special someone to go have fun with. I would even say that it's also difficult for many single women to do the same because of similar reasons. But I honestly think the greatest problem that we have in today's world is we're not willing to give others a chance and our standards are too high. It's good to have standards so you don't end up going with someone that might be harmful or simply not interested in, but we have to remember that NO ONE is perfect.

I lost over 120 pounds in the last decade (from 330 down to, less than, 210). I'm more athletic, better looking, and my confidence is back. I also make decent money and live in a decent enough home. I want to improve things in my life, but I know what I can and can't do. I don't ask for a whole lot when it comes to finding a woman. I'm not looking for a supermodel, but nor am I looking for someone who doesn't take care of their bodies. The woman I dated was what, I considered, curvy but pretty to me. I don't expect my ideal woman to make loads of money, but so long as they are working at a place where they feel happy and satisfied (and want to excel). Education, it doesn't have to be college, but, at least, something where they have been given the proper skills and knowledge to function well in the world. My idea attitude and personality, someone who's real but cares about others, regardless of who it is. I don't want someone who only wants to cause trouble and/or mischief.

That's all I want, in addition to having the same values and beliefs as I do. And that's what most single guys want. Most of us follow the rules, respect one's space, and we want to do the right thing. But, somehow, for a lot of women, even when we get playful, it's not enough. These same women wonder why guys opt of dating altogether, and the answer is simple: the goal post keeps moving and we NEVER score. So this is why it's difficult for single men to date in the world today. Granted, it's not all single men, but it's a gigantic number of us. Ladies that are single, this is not meant to be an anti-female post, but rather a suggestion. Whatever today's more secular society has taught you, abandon it. You want to find Mr Right? Re-adjust your views on men and make your standards more realistic and reasonable. Stop beating us down. There are good men out there with no kids, never been married, and can provide you with what you need. We know that he should make you happy, but the same thing NEEDS to happen on YOUR end, and it doesn't always involve sex.

There are guys, like myself, that want to get to know you better as a person well before anything of the sort. Give those guys another look and give them that chance. You know who they are. Do I want to be with a woman? Yes. Do I want to complain about not having one? No. But I did want to bring this to the forefront because it seems easier for many single women to score dates than it is for single men and that shouldn't be the case (unless if they're these rich, "highly" educated, good looking, bad boys). It should be about equal. I've gone on long enough, but take what I put down into consideration.

January 18, 2021, 09:18:29 AM
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AlisaKim666


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