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Author Topic: Does She Need Space? What Do I Do Here?

December 02, 2019, 12:02:45 PM
Read 984 times


Ok, kind of a long one here - hopefully someone can offer some insight:

A girl whom I work with and I got together a few months back and ended up getting physical, however we agreed to keep it that way for a couple of reasons (I am going through a divorce being the primary).

We have had a lot of fun together, gone out to eat, movies, etc. which certainly seems outside of just the "this is a physical thing". She immediately watches IG stories and likes all of my posts (for whatever that is worth).

It's been kind of tough around the holidays making plans and she has been working a lot of doubles and has canceled plans a couple of times recently (I know how it feels to work a double there as well and can totally understand being so wiped you don't feel like you have the energy to have a worthwhile evening with someone else), and I certainly understand the need to spend time with close family and friends during the holidays or cook or whatever.

She has opened up to me a lot emotionally, we have had a bunch of sleepover nights, she has said that she likes me and likes being physical, but she also acknowledges that she is a heavy introvert and that when she has days off, she doesn't really like to make plans too much with others because it is kind of her "time to recharge".

She knows everything about where I am at in my relationship that has ended and has not run away and has even talked about it with me. The nights that we have scrapped plans, she will still hang out with me in my car afterward and kiss/talk. She apparently put on makeup the other day prior to me coming in according to a coworker (which could mean nothing, but the timing was interesting). As of a week ago, she says she is still interested in going out and doing fun things together, but outside of a nice message she sent to me on Thanksgiving, we haven't really interacted much. It's been three weeks since we have been together physically which doesn't bother me really but is a change which I can only chalk up to schedules not matching well and holidays.

Thoughts? I really do like her but don't want to obsess with overthinking anything and am inclined to give her some space for a week or two. It has been a while since I have met someone new since I was married for 10 years so I am trying to feel this out without being overbearing or annoying.

« Last Edit: December 03, 2019, 10:03:04 AM by Andrew7842 »

December 02, 2019, 10:04:38 PM
Reply #1


I think maybe she needed the time to think about how to move forward with you too. I can sense that she loves you too.

December 09, 2019, 05:45:34 AM
Reply #2

Captain Black

I am not sure what your waiting for. Its obvious that she is into you . The only thing that could be holding her back a little is your divorce. She may think there is still that slightest chance that you could go back with your wife and so therefore could be holding back a little. Reassurances may be needed in that respect. Once the divorce is out of the way its of my opinion the things could get a little easier .

December 23, 2019, 12:03:48 PM
Reply #3


Seems like she is totally into you, however she may be getting more invested in your situation than what she anticipated or cared to get into.  By her creating space is her defense mechanism from getting hurt, now that feelings seem to be More involved.  That divorce is also a big shadow looming and should be your focus and priority.  Get that... get a social life without her enjoy your freedom and if she wants to be a part of it then great.  If not, you have your life you are enjoying.  But its much easier giving advise than actually doing it.

February 03, 2020, 09:00:21 AM
Reply #4


I think its best to give her some space. If you come on to strong she will get pushed away.
Give her space as this will make her think about you more and she will reached out to you.

February 07, 2020, 09:10:24 AM
Reply #5


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