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Author Topic: Should I reconnect with this girl I blew it with 10 years ago?

August 18, 2019, 02:49:15 AM
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Theres a lot to explain, so I'll try to stick to the most important parts. Junior year of high school I had the worst crush ever on this girl, she had no idea. Two years later, my freshman year of college, I basically spilled my guts to her (big mistake) on MySpace (yeah this was a long time ago). She was open to the idea of dating each other, so we ended up talking online somewhat regularly. We did go to different colleges in the same general area, however I really wasn't pro-active enough. We eventually met up to play tennis with each other various times (we were both on the high school tennis team). Yet, I pretty much did the whole nice guy who friend-zoned myself thing. I didn't ask her out, I didn't really initiate anything, and so we were basically penpals who played tennis sometimes. I was in my late teens/early 20s and I really didn't have much confidence with this stuff at the time. Now obviously at no point did she appear to be interested in me romantically, we didn't even discuss the status of our "relationship." We only went for frozen yogurt one time, basically the only "date" we had.

A few years later, she moved north about 3 hours away for a job. I just sort of swallowed it by this point and moved on with life and haven't talked to her since. I really feel I've matured a lot since then. I've graduated college, I make a good living in a career I like, I'm healthy, I still enjoy tennis, I'm much more secure in myself now as a 29 year old. I understand the mistakes I made back then. For all I know, even if I played my cards right with her she may still not have been into me no matter what. I guess I'm asking because I still have regrets about how I dealt with this and I still think about her regularly. My dating life has been pretty rough so far, I have a male dominated job and hobbies, so I almost never meet single women my age. I'm a natural introvert as well so that makes things a bit more difficult. Online dating just hasn't panned out either, I live in somewhat of a small town.

I understand that if I don't somehow end up with her, its not the end of the world and I'll be fine. I'm sure at some point my romantic life will work out. I just wish my lack of maturity and confidence didn't ruin a chance with someone I really liked. I have no idea how the 3 hour distance would work, or what her reaction would be or what I would even say to her. Any ideas?

August 19, 2019, 07:50:25 PM
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vexcoda


From my personal experience, it's never good to go back. I have done it before and it inevitably ended, worse than the first ending. However, I do have to say even after that experience I still did think that it would be great to get back with one of my ex's that was great at the time, but I usually ended up relaing that that time has moved on and will have both changed and it wouldn't before holding her to the expectations of being the person she was when we were together.


 

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