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Author Topic: Is she messing me around?

November 03, 2019, 05:26:32 AM
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Last year I started a new job and was hired by the women I eventually ended up having a crush on.

Nothing happened between us (I was in a relationship at the time - I'm not now) it was just very flirtatious glances but very obvious to both of us.

These exchanges happened constantly for 6 months or so. I wanted to ask her out but didn't due to the fact initially I was in a relationship but also that we worked together in a 30 or so person company.

In the end she met someone towards the end of last year and this year for obvious reason those glances and flirtatious exchanges have stopped. She moved in with her boyfirend a few months ago - and I thought that was it, as hard as it was I let it go.

Until about 6 weeks ago and I noticed her to looking at me again (this is very obvious in the way she looks at me)

And about a month ago we went out with one other person, when we were alone I mentioned that I'd noticed the glances again, she was initially defensive but admitted it didn't say too much said to message her the next day so we could go out and talk about it - I didn't because we were drunk and it seemed in appropriate as she has a boyfriend.

After that night the glances stopped for just a week - then they've started again, last week at one point it was really obvious. To the point I'm think she can't have a boyfriend still if she's looking at me like this. But she does.

I don't get it. If she's in a new happy relationship why is she looking at me like this again?

Its frustrating I have dated this year which has taken my mind off her but I really like her still and this is just screwing with my head. It seems so obvious to me - i just don't know why she's doing it - she knows I know now because I"ve actually mentioned it which I hadnt before.

Any advice would be welcome.  I should also ad we're both very senior in this company so I have to tread carefully. 

November 03, 2019, 08:27:14 AM
Reply #1


I think you need to speak to her and see if there's an unresolved feelings she has for you.

November 04, 2019, 08:23:28 AM
Reply #2

Captain Black

I think you need to move on . Let me explain

Yes she does like you . That's a fact based on your post .

She is however in an existing relationship and is probably happy with this other person. This doesn't stop her from liking you or even having the occasional coffee together  . However she is showing loyalty to this other person and she can only have one proper relationship at one time without going to the dark murky depths of affairs .Don't even go there !!

Your best bet is to accept her decision and move on. I have been in a similar situation . Me and this other woman (a co worker) have always fancied the pants off each other but we have never both been free at the same time. We are both happily married albeit with different partners and loyal. However we are very good friends and make most of this when we bump into each other .

So IMO I think its best for you not to place your life on hold as life is too short and move on . 


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