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Author Topic: How to deal with friends with benefits

January 23, 2019, 06:41:45 PM
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So, I have been friends with this guy for over a year, and have been sleeping with him on and off since April’18 ( now in January’19 ) saying that we didn’t speak between July- September.

The sex has always been amazing and rather passionate , sometimes drunk sometimes sober.

We have been what I can describe as ‘best friends’ the past 4 months but have also been sleeping together atleast once a week on average - and are with each other about 4/5 times a week just hanging out  - sometimes with friends but usually just is two.

The problem has came up because we have mutual friends - they are asking questions like why we’re with each other a lot, have we been sleeping together, are we together? Etc - it can get annoying considering it’s nobody’s business but it annoys him more than me.
Recently I asked him to go for a walk and he asked can he bring a friend , because he feels like if we’re with each other too much people will keep asking questions.

I sent him a message recently saying ‘I was thinking about what you said yesterday I completely understand where your coming from at the Same time I understand why everyone is asking you about us.  I didn’t think that it annoyed you that much to have to not be with me on your own. Your bound to know that I like you and it’s hard not to when we spend so much time together and how we get on together so obviously I don’t see us as just ‘friends’ sometimes considering how we have sex and the way we get on. The last thing I want is for other people to come between us because of them bullshitting, if you really don’t like the thought of people seeing us on our own then that’s fine but I thought you’d care abit more about me than what other people think considering how close we are..’

He replied ‘ your mad mate’

I know most people will just jump and say we’ll be clearly doesn’t like you like that and completely friend zoned me - but we do call everything pal friend mate bro😂 etc all the time - he does go out of his way for me at times - came and seen me in hospital, fixed my car for free, builds stuff in my house, brings me juice to work, puts fuel in my car, we also flirt a lot plus the sex so I don’t see how this can just be friends!

I don’t know if he gets that I actually have strong feelings for him and I just want to clear the air and find out how he feels!
He has been getting on normally with me since I sent that bible of a message - NEED HELP ASAP

May 02, 2019, 12:09:38 PM
Reply #1


Honestly, it seems like you're not okay with this type of relationship, so why do you keep going on with it? If he's such a friend of yours tell him you need to talk with him ALONE and explain him your doubts.


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