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Author Topic: He deleted me from his social media accounts.

January 24, 2020, 04:40:15 PM
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freespirit


Hello everyone, So before I jump into my question. I need to explain 'briefly' my situation.  It will be long shot so thank you in advance for reading till the end and for commenting if u ll ever do.. So  I am an expat living in a foreign country alone with my dog and my cat since more than 4 years.

One day, a guy started to follow me on my instagram account ( my profile is public) , I didn't follow him back as I don't know him. After one week, my grand-ma passed away,and he wrote me that he is sorry for my loss.. I replied back and we started talking since then. He asked me to meet afterwards and I accepted.

 We met and everything between us was nice. We  enjoyed our time.. We spoke about many topics which one of them was being engaged in a relationship... I only said that it is still early for us to be in a relationship.. we just met.. he said that he agrees but he wanted me to know initially his intentions from the beginning.. That night, when he dropped me back home, he wanted to kiss me but I stopped him. We continued talking to each others day and night and then he proposed a second meeting and as I liked him, I agreed to meet again.  Our second meeting went also so well. We spoke openly and we had really quality time. He then started to talk about being engaged in a relationship together.. He mentioned that he is not looking for too fast serious relationship though, but at least he wanted us to try and see if we can fit in together. If yes, that s fine, if not, his life won t stop for me and my life won t stop for him neither.. He also started talking about future common plans, like traveling together, taking me to the city where he was born in..Asking me to have some days off from the work to join him in a road trip. He also said that he waits impatiently to meet my pets and he even invited me to his home to watch a movie together with his sister.. I told him that I need really so much time before being engaged in such things.. I am difficult by nature and I have lived two different big love deceptions before and this made me so doubtful.. I told him that I have trust issues and I can not give my trust easily.

 My first relationship lasted 6 years, and after me and my ex boyfriend broke up, he got engaged with one of my friends.. After 4 years, I met another guy  whom I had faith in . He love bombed me  and then ghosted me minutes after sending me a message to tell me that I am the love of his life ( like seriously !!)) My heart was broken for two times and the second time ( one year and half ago) was harder than the first, because you would question yourself and die to have a closure but you can not.. After the second deception, I decided to focus more on my career and professional life.. It was hard but I proudly say that I was stronger than my problems .. But of course,every hardship will take something out of you .. I moved on but I  still have the scars.. I can not trust people easily even if I want to ..

 So I explained everything in details to this guy and he said that he understand me so well and he is ready to be  patient .. but at the same time he accused me of being coward because I am afraid to be in pain again whereas he is not regardless of his past deceptions.. I told him that It I lost my desires to start over with someone and he can not judge me while basing on his own story.. everyone has  his own personality and experiences and we are different  human beings afterwards and what applies to him should not necessary applies to me.. I told him it  is hard for me to open for the third time but it does not mean that I am against it.. I just need time..  He held my hands that night and aid that he will not go away unless I push him for real and wanted eventually to kiss me again and I refused..

We continued talking as we used to and everything was fine until one day he texted me and said that he feels so down. I told him I am here if he wants to talk..He then started complaining about my behaviors towards him accusing me of being distant and not showing him my real emotions.. and he is all the time because of me and he does not even know if I like him or not and he is not sure until when he can bear my indifference towards him. He wanted us to be together , he wants to hold my hands, he wants me to sleep on his chest and he is not looking for sexual relationships.. he just wants real connection but I am not showing him any interest.. He is the first one always texting me or asking me to meet and making plans and if he does not do this, I don’t react or do anything in return..  He said that he would run a mile for me but he is expecting me to make a step while he s running a marathon for  me  . .He  said he can wait but I need to motivate him to do so.. As he knows he is so worthy and he knows what he can bring to the table and he is now lowering his standards for me and if this will continue, then ending would be so bad..He finally said that I am being emotional unavailable for him and he can not accept this.

I answered back and told him  that I was honest with him since the first time and I explained to him what I have been through and because of my trust issues , I need so much time to  be sure about him and to take the decision to be together.. I told him it s not because I am not seeing his worth pr I am emotionally unavailable as he thought .. It is just a matter of time. I told him that I like him and his personality and I am enjoying his company and the time spent with him.. but if he wants me, he has to be patient with me.. I need to observe him more before being engaged because I don t wanna waste my time and that is why it is hard for me to open up easily.. I told him that such behavior makes me feel pressure which is not good for both of us.After all, it s been only two months since we started talking and we met only twice. I am ok with meeting u again and spending more time with u to get to know u better but the decision part can not be taken from now..I told him that I wanna go with the flow.

 I am not holding myself back as he thinks but we will only get the answers that we both need with time.. I also told him that not to be arrogant, but I am trying my best and I am giving us a chance by spending time with him, talking to him and sharing many things with him. It is true that until then,I never started the conversation with him.. but it is not out of ego.. I just don’t wanna give everything easily.. I m just taking my time . I told him that I am receiving many messages from guys everyday and I never replied or even met anyone since one year and half but I accepted to meet him so I chose him among many.. So even though I explained to him, there was still misunderstanding between us and he continued to complain about my behaviors towards him and asked me ‘do u wanna be with me ? it s a yes or no question’ I told him to WAIT and I don’t like these situations.. and at the end I felt so misunderstood and I told him that I understand him very well.. Everyone wants to give and receive in  a relationship and I can not be selfish and tell you to be patient if you don’t want to.. but at the same time I can not change my behavior to satisfy someone’s needs.. I behave according to my principles and values in life .. so this is me and where I am coming from. And by such behavior you are making me think that relationships are matter of quantity and not quality for you which is not the case for me. So it is what it is, You can take it or leave it..

So he replied ‘Ok I hope you find the courage again’.. We stopped talking that night and the next day, it was the NYE so he texted me after midnight wishing me a happy new year.. I replied him back and thanked him and wished him the same as well.. and after one week, he deleted me from his social media account..

 I was surprised by seeing such reaction from him.. It was unexpected. .I didn’t understand really the reasons behind it though I am aware that it was an indirect message to tell me ‘ I am cutting you off and I don’t want you anymore’. I didn’t react at all actually, but after some time, I wanted to text him and ask him to meet to talk face to face as I know what happened between us was only a misunderstanding..

  But then I change my mind so quickly. When my ex boyfriend ghosted me, I tried to contact him for many months and it was in vain until one day I was somehow insulted by him and it hurt me so much.. I don’t wanna take the risk to live such situation again and cause myself more pain.. I am also pretty sure that he was conscious and aware when he deleted me so it was his decision so there is no point of insisting..


Sometimes, I feel guilty and I think that I might was too much ‘difficult’ with him but other times I assume that deleting me was a kind of mind game and a very egotistical thing to do and maybe he wanted me to provoke me to make a reaction just to give pleasure to his ego.. so Didn’t do anything..

At the same time, thinking about the situation again and again made me have very unpleasant feelings..So when we have emotions involved in a situation, it is somehow hard to remain objective that s why I am sharing it here. What do you think about this story ? any advice?  Thank you in advance
« Last Edit: January 25, 2020, 09:16:23 AM by freespirit »

January 31, 2020, 03:34:11 PM
Reply #1
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holler


If he deleted you from his social media, it means your relationship with has end
 In other way perhaps, it might be testing you. thanks my opinion.

February 06, 2020, 05:48:57 AM
Reply #2
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matchcomrefund


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February 07, 2020, 09:07:28 AM
Reply #3
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Adamsv11


MY STORY HERE IS REAL AND GENUINE. My name is Adams Vienna and i am here to testify about Great Mother who brought back my man to me when he broke up with me because of another woman who he met at his place of work. Great Mother is a very powerful, real and unique woman with special powers. I tried to get help from many places and sources to bring back my man but nothing worked but when i contacted Great Mother, she made me smile again by bringing my man back to me with her special powers.. If you are experiencing any problems in your marriage, relationship, and you have any similar problem to this, contact this Great Woman now she will help you. Here is her website: Ourgreatmother1.com   and here is her email address: Greatmotherofsolutiontemple1@yahoo.com   and you can also contact her now on her own Whatsapp number: +17025514367 You can either contact her on her website, email or her whatsapp number. Thank you Great Mother.  

 

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