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Author Topic: Guy I Had/Have A Thing With Started Dating Someone

May 08, 2019, 06:49:14 PM
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I’ve known this ex-couple for many years now. We’ll call him Bob and her Sally. When they were together, we’d all hangout. The guy has even come to work for me at my business. We’ve always gotten along. They have a child together but have now been broken up for 3+ years. I wasn’t really that close with her until the last year but now she calls me her best friend. I really don’t like Sally that much but she lives right down the road and it was a friendship of convenience. They stopped getting along and started hating each other however.
About 9 months ago I hooked up (not sex) with Bob (Sally found out and gave her blessing so it’s not really relevant to this). But the guy kept playing hot and cold with me because he said “he doesn’t want her in his life and I’m a part of her life so it makes it hard for him. He can’t trust me”. Back and forth we went for months, sometimes seeing each other and hooking up a little, sometimes just texting. Eventually he stopped hooking up with me and said he wouldn’t do it anymore. We kept talking and would see each other here and there. I would get angry with him a lot because he’d want to complain about Sally and her parenting but wouldn’t want to talk about anything else. I felt used. I broke it off several times. Over the last 3 months Bob has texted me a few times, some texts around 11pm, even asking me to come over to “make love” once. I denied him each time, even last weekend when it was just “hey come have a drink with me at the bar” at 11pm.
Yesterday, we finally talked on the phone for a long time. He told me he met someone a little while ago and they’ve started seeing each other. He said he asked me to the bar for a drink just to reconnect, not to have sex…. That he doesn’t wanna have sex with me and mess things up with the new girl, even though its still new.
I asked him what was so wrong with me that he never wanted to date me and again said he can’t trust me because I’m Sally’s friend. That I’m great and attractive and if I wasn’t her friend, things could have been different. “Trust me, it’s not you, at all. It’s the situation”.
I then told him I haven’t been talking to Sally for 2 months. Once I said that, he opened up and started saying that the new girl wasn’t that serious. That his roommate met her and thinks she’s crazy. That it probably won’t work out. He then tried to impress me by telling me how he quit smoking, has been working out a lot, etc. He asked me about my life, what was going on. When I told him about an event I have this weekend, he said he “should probably stop by and see you at it.” I asked him if he wanted to see each other now but he said no, it was too late. He said he would call me.
I’m so confused though because what am I supposed to do? Was Sally the problem the whole time, like he said she was? He wouldn’t lie, right? Especially if he really isn’t trying to fuck me, there’s no point in lying about that. What should I do? Just wait for him to call right? I don’t really want to move on but I’m ok with it if that’s how it’s gotta be. But why did he suddenly say the new girl wasn’t gonna work once I told him I ended my friendship with Sally? I really don’t believe he’s lying about the new girl at all (plus I stalked his Facebook and she’s a real person lol).
Any advice at all?

 

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