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Author Topic: 7 years and we go nowhere...

November 12, 2019, 10:55:03 PM
Read 813 times


So I’ve known this guy since I was 18 (I’m 25 now) and he was 20 at the time (he’s 27). His father passed away at a young age, his mom had stage 3 breast cancer, his sisters have cancer/other awful diseases. He himself has heart failure and has had surgery. So his life is pretty messed. We used to stay on the phone all night, talk all day. Then right before my 18th birthday he broke up with me. Maybe not relevant, but he lost his virginity to me. Two years later, we found each other again. Ever since then, he barley talks, we only meet up at night and talk in his car. I got suspicious that he was married or seeing someone, and after investigating and asking around he IS NOT married. I love him so much but the issue is that he’s constantly in and out of my life. One day he’s all in with me and wants to be with me, the next day he ghosts me, then he’ll come back into my life after a few months or weeks. He rarely replies to my texts and never picks up to my phone calls - hell just text me out of nowhere. He tells me he loves me and he has a messed up life and that’s why he’s scared to be with anyone. I told him I want to take care of him and I’ll stand by him no matter what. He also told me that if he doesn’t end up marrying me, he doesn’t see himself getting married at all. So what gives? What should I do? I feel like I cannot let him go no matter how hard I try.

November 13, 2019, 12:16:34 AM
Reply #1


7 years and we go nowhere...
You are spending your youth when you are beautiful and attractive for going nowhere, and it is the best case. Worst case you will be in the Hell of marriage with this guy.
This is a typical mistake of young people having sex before marriage or before you understand what kind of person is your partner. Sex is not just a physical act, it changes all levels of our existence. You are attached to this guy as a result.  You are spending your youth for nothing. You with love and bound to this guy who can't make you happy. Even if you marry this guy it doesn't look that the situation will be good, it will be the same as now or worst.
What are you waiting for? Why are you in this toxic relationship which goes nowhere?
Probably, you need to break this relation, it can take a year or more to recover and then you can have a more suitable boyfriend.

November 13, 2019, 03:50:58 AM
Reply #2

Captain Black

You need to move on my dear . Staying with this guy is just placing your life on hold . You could end up in a relationship that isn't going anywhere.  Sure you can still support him and listen to his problems but just keep it on a platonic friendship level . That way you can still move on with your life whilst your still young enough.

January 22, 2020, 06:13:56 PM
Reply #3


to me he sounds like a broken man. but yes u must give him an ultimatum because yes ur wasting ur time otherwise.if i was to be 100% with you, he deosnt love you , he feels comfortable with you, you make him feel wanted, loved. because  when a man loves you, he shows you he loves you, he wants u in his life , and this point i dont even think ur his gf, if a man loves you for real, he will tell you everyday and no matter how broken he is, your his rock and he should be praising you at every second. you need to find the closure you need to move on. so have a serious conversation and if things go south move on with your life.

January 28, 2020, 01:50:39 PM
Reply #4


Just like the first person to reply stated, you're young and probably very beautiful, 7 years is a long time and i understand the feeling of not being able to let go and since you have a history together its probably a lot harder, but there are ways to keep him to yourself and know his intentions towards you, if you're interested in knowing send me a message and we could discuss this but this is totally up to you.


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