Met a guy 6 months ago when we were both having problems in our marriages. My husband & I just filed for divorce, & I had a baby in the meantime. His situation is that his relationship w/his wife is like nonexistent (sleeping in different rooms, live on opposite coasts, etc) but they've stayed together for their sons, who are at an age to understand, but he says ultimately he knows the marriage is going to end. The guy and I agreed no sleeping together until both of us are at least separated. Right now, on that point, he tells me to be "patient."
What our "relationship" is like: we see each other almost every single day when he's not in California (where his wife & sons live). He didn't back away when I got super pregnant or after I delivered. He always encourages me to bring my daughter when we hang out. He will call me immediately if I sound like I have a problem when texting (work, baby-related, etc) and spend tons of time talking it out w/me. We do hook up but no sleeping together as already said. He kisses me hello & goodbye & says "see you tomorrow" like it's a relationship. We make plans for things we'll do this summer. If I am spending time with a guy friend, he wants to know more because he'd be jealous if he thought I were interested.
I don't want to be the girl giving an ultimatum, but I feel at some point this has to be defined. Frankly I thought this kind of stuff was a hot & heavy fling; I didn't think we'd still be in each other's lives every day, half a year later, without even having sex. What do I do?