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Author Topic: Should I forget about him?

June 02, 2019, 11:35:30 AM
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mimoosu


Buckle up, this is going to be like a book. Thank you ahead for everyone who reads this!! So last year when we were at work with my bff, this boy always came to sit with us at the break, we didn't know him or anything. Me and my friend are well..quite awkward and we were silent most of the time but he still came to us and even invited us to his party. Then nothing happened for half a year until this competition where we both participated. He must've seen that I was quite nervous and came to comfort me. After that day we started snapchatting. He likes to answer to my snaps even if they are just of something boring and we talk like that. Few months later I got invited to his birthday party and when we went to congratulate him , he shook hands with my friends but picked me up, spun me around and then hugged me. After that party he started poking me in the stomach lightly school when he saw me (he's one year older so we don't see so often). I always laughed it off. After his party I kind of started to lightly get feelings for him.


I haven't dated, strange for a 17 year old but I've always said that I've got enough problems as it is. These feelings weren't this bad until the next party. We were drinking, but not too much and went to the club. He took my hand on the way, our friends were chanting like ''Kiss, kiss'' but he always turned silent after that, even if he can't usually keep his mouth shut ever. In the club he was with his friends but occasionally came to us and kept eye contact with me. When I saw that he was tired I took him to the couches and sat down beside him, he pulled me to his lap and told me how sexy I was. We sat there hugging for a bit until he needed to go for a smoke. Nothing happened after that.

Next party, more feelings. This was the part when I realized that I am totally fucked and love him. We were invited to a party and as I knew my crush was going, I of course needed to go. This night was incredible, as always there were drinks but things never went overboard. My crush got something on his shirt and I gave him my own because it has my name on it and he always jokes about how he likes my name. He changed it after to another shirt that my friend (let's call her K)  gave to him, it didn't bother me and I was suspecting nothing even if he kept saying that the shirt smelled good. Anyways his lap was my chair for the rest of the night, we danced and he was so sweet. I guess he has something with smelling hahah because he likes to smell my hair, even before this party. He even gave me a massage while I was laying down when I mentioned that my back hurts. Me and K went outside at one point and  told her of my feelings for my crush and how weird and confusing it was for me because of my lack of relationships, She listened to me and told me that my crush might not be the one for me when he's so playful only at the parties. Later, when I went to sleep, my crush came to the bed I was in and layed down. We cuddled and he liked to put his head to my heart to listen to my heartbeat. We talked, he shared his pictures on his phone and at one point he even took his shirt off, not sure why but hey I wasn't complaining. It was a good night.

As he is my crush, I often find myself feeling very awkward and can't find the right words. We don't get a lot of time together, that's why parties are the only place. In the morning of the same party, when me and K went outside, my crush offered to give her his jacket so it wouldn't be too cold. I again took that he is just too nice. Then later, K also wanted a massage so he gave it to her, I was there like alright K do not forget the talk I gave you night before about my feelings. Nothing happened after that, my crush used to butt as a pillow for some time but that was it. Then we get to the bad part.


When the party was over, my crush offered to walk K home. After that I know that they started calling and texting a lot. When I got my friend to ask K about it she said that she wasn't interested in him. Same thing when I asked her and I believed her, she's also using Tinder and talking to boys there so I left that topic there. New party, new change to see my crush! This time K invited me. Well, we went walking and it was alright then. When I climbed a tree my crush was the only one that was concerned and caught me. Also when I hit my head when falling backwards from a swing, he was there immediately and helped me find my phone. I'm not trying to get hurt on purpose, I honestly am just really clumsy. K was wearing my crushes jacket this whole time. I found myself getting left alone a lot and I found them hugging in the corner outside. I started suspecting something after that. They were the only ones I knew at this party so when I was always left with this stranger boys, I wasn't really happy. They were always outside or in the other room. When me and my crush were left alone in the room ,he said with depressing and straight face that I am good and have so much potential for a boyfriend. I was quite confused as this was very sudden topic. Anyways as I was left alone a lot and it all started getting to much, I felt like I needed to get away. K was asking me if it was because of her and my crush, but because I didn't was to hurt her, I said that I just needed some time alone. Then my crush came to call me back and hugged me, asking what was wrong. He put his hand on my left side and told me to hold my breath so he could listen to my heart again. I didn't want to be such an asshole but I still guiltily went away that night. I have problems with my moods as they can get really really low suddenly and I tent to always overthink things.

After that I've talked on the snapchat with him but I haven’t seen him. He and K have met and while I don’t know what they did or if they are just suddenly good friends now, it still hurts because of the talk I had with K and how she has ignored it. I've heard that there is something between them and that means that K also lied to me. Am I just being an idiot? What should I do? I’m usually quite good at giving advice but I feel so stuck here. I feel like he had to feel at least something but it doesn't feel like this way anymore. Help?

 

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