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Author Topic: How do I get closer to him?

December 11, 2019, 03:59:41 PM
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leney2603


Hello everyone!
I am a university student and I currently live in a huge dorms complex in our city. There is this one very cute guy who's majoring the same thing as I am, and because our group at uni has around 40 people in total, we know each other as if we're in the same class in high school, for example. He lives in the same dorms complex, just a different building (I'm building no.2 and he's no.3).

We've talked quite a lot during our group projects together and for example, when we both come to class earlier than others (we have to commute so sometimes we go an hour earlier and arrive at uni a lot earlier than we thought we would). We also sometimes wait for the same bus together or see each other inside the bus.

At first I only thought he was cute, but as I've learned more about him, I've grown more and more fond of him. One day, as I had to change rooms inside the complex, while we were chatting inside the bus, I said to him how I have a lot of things to carry and he volunteered to help, which he did in the end. He came and helped me move my things from one room to another, and then we sat in my room and talked before he had to go somewhere.

The thing is, as I've grown more fond of him, I got the feeling that I see him less often (which is probably just because now I can't get enough of him!). I want to see him more, maybe invite him for some things such as concerts or going to some cool cafes around the town, but I'm not sure how to do that. It seems to me that he isn't as interested in me as I am in him - well, not romantically, and not yet. But I think things would change if we saw each other more and talked more... We have so many things in common and our interests are basically the same! I just don't want to reveal to him I like him just yet. Is it possible to initiate something without being too obvious?

December 11, 2019, 05:57:35 PM
Reply #1
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Captain Black


First of all the role of the girl/woman has changed since my dating days . It's no longer left to the guy to ask the girl out. More women are taking the lead because they have more drive and determination to get what they want. I know this happens from first hand experience because even though I am married I have been asked out many times .

So you may need to take the lead role here .

You can start with "soft" dates such as going for a coffee   If he asks why  you can always use the excuse that you want to discuss some course work and need a second opinion Sometimes you need think outside the box, This date may allow you to start engineering the beginnings of a relationship .If he likes the coffee date you can always do it again I think something like this will give you something to build on.


December 24, 2019, 08:49:00 PM
Reply #2
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dogfishcat


Next time you see him, make an effort to sit directly next to him. Laugh at his jokes and make physical contact (e.g. touch his arms, shoulder while laughing, and lean towards him). If you're really bold, touch his thigh for a brief second.

That human contact releases oxytocin, which is a hormone associated with bonding and attachment. Even if he's not romantically attracted to you, he will instantly like you more for your affection. If he does like you, he will certainly get the hint at that point, and hopefully ask you out.

If all else fails, there's nothing at all wrong with you asking him out!