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Author Topic: Going too Fast???

September 18, 2019, 10:28:23 PM
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anonymoussss


I need some help. So, my boyfriend, who I've liked for a very long time, decided to say "I love you" and uh wow. We didn't start dating that long ago. Of course, we've both liked each other for a while and we were just too anxious to say anything, but there was something in my head telling me that we're going too fast. Like, of course I love him, but do I really love him, love him... y'know? I feel like we have to know each other well before we can say those three words. Opinions?

October 19, 2019, 02:58:45 AM
Reply #1
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soconfusednow


Hello,

Im curious how old you two are? I know this post is almost a month old but I thought I would just chime in.  How are things now?  I like how you have enough self awareness to raise the question to begin with.  If if feels too fast or you are questioning it - listen to that and explore that more. What do you value in a relationship?  What are the things that are important for you to know about a person before saying I love you?

October 19, 2019, 03:31:00 AM
Reply #2
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Murough


That’s kind of tricky. I think most people impulsively say “I love you” too early. There is so many levels of love and a lot of people dive into trading those words when they are in early stages of affection. Most guys assume the girl needs to hear it. Especially when you’re younger. Most people just have to roll with it and say it back or it ends in messy feelings. If it makes you really uncomfortable I guess you could try talking to him. Tell him you weren’t expecting to be trading those words yet. If you do have affection for him. You could tell him since he feels like he is ready to start saying that. That you do have a level of love for him and you could start trading those words but you are still needing to move slow and need to keeping learning about him on a deeper level so that love can grow. Sorry that is a awkward situation if you don’t feel comfortable throwing around those words. Unfortunately you will probably find every relationship you are going to end up trading it on the early side. I was trading I love yous way too early in every relationship I’ve ever had except my current one and I’m sure that’s in big part because he was my best friend for years when I was married. By the time I braved up and left my marriage I’d been biting my tounge on those I love yous for years. I’d loved the man before I ever gave him a hug and it wasn’t until years later we’d share our first kiss and I got to pour my heart out that he was the one I needed to be with. By the time I walked away from my ex and ran into his arms I was so far past those  I love yous and straight to grow old with me. I don’t think anyone really gets the timing of those words right...   

 

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