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Author Topic: I dont know if she feels the same way... Should i call her?

February 04, 2020, 06:36:31 AM
Read 652 times


Hey im a 23 year old man from Denmark and 5 months ago i moved to a new city where i didnt know anyone. A year ago i lived at a folk high school with 40 other people for 4 months. Among many of the friends i have there, i have over the past few months fallen in love with one of the girls who lives in Russia and is a good friend of mine. We have been texting almost daily for 2 months and we were finally gonna see each other again this weekend because she was coming to Denmark for 10 days.

In this weekend we were with a lot of the other friends and time went by very fast. I wasnt sure if she had the same kind of feelings for me as i had for her. Therefore i wanted to find out in this weekend and eventually tell her how i felt. However one of her friends found out about how i felt and told me that she could talk to her and indirectly find out if she had aany feelings for me. Unfortunately i was told by her friend that she didnt exactly feel the same way, and that i was a bit too silent of a person for her as a partner...

I really regret that i had someone else try to find out instead of just talking to her in person. And now that i have come home from the weekend to my apartment i feel more lonely than i ever have in my entire life. yesterday i couldnt even step out the door. It felt like i could have a panic anxiety attack at any moment. I really dont know if she even has a hint of how i feel about her and it is terrorizing me.

Like i said she is a good friend. So im really scared of calling to tell her because im not sure how she will react to it if she doessnt already know and i also really wanted to do it in person. At the moment im struggling to even go to school and i cant think about anything but her when i am in class. Its a constant physical pain in my chest and i really just dont know what to do...

I hope someone can tell me what i should do.

Edit: something that is imortant to add is:

3 years ago i felt a very similar kind of loneliness when one of my best friends died. I think the pain of this experience has added to how lonely i feel right now.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2020, 06:59:39 AM by Lasse »

February 21, 2020, 02:44:00 PM
Reply #1


If the friend said that she’s not interested, I would believe that, unless you think the friend has any reason to lie or anything. I completely understand the loneliness you are going through as I’ve been through a similar situation towards the end of my middle school years. I think it’s be best to move on instead of staying hung over this woman. If you don’t move on, you’ll keep feeling anxious and lonely because you won’t seek out or consider anybody else. You must keep you eyes on the horizon and see who else might be out there that would enjoy sharing their time with you!

I hope this helps! :-)
Having something to lose is what makes life worth living


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