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Author Topic: Did I just end the Relationship?

December 23, 2019, 12:27:12 PM
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BorisGustavo


I have been seeing my girlfriend for 4 months now.  We get along well and are very affectionate with each other always.  Both our schedules are very busy but we have managed to make time to see each other here and there with quick meets and occasionally for full dates.  At first I was the one who initiated communications and she would promptly and caringly respond.  Not sure how this is relevant to my question but thought to put it in.

She recently got a second job to help supplement her ability to pay for rent and her 2 teen boys as a single mom. The boys are old enough now to be temporarily left home alone at times which they are.  I am a single dad of 3 with my own home so I certainly understand her priorities pertaining to them. With her second job I understand OUR quick meets don’t happen anymore and we now have to rely on making date plans.  Due to our schedules we can only afford 1 date a week if that.  In the past we would meet somewhere, now she wants me to pick her up and bring her back home which sometimes isn’t a big deal.  We live 30min from each other so if we date out by her its not a problem.  I have more flexibility to be intimate at my house so it’s nice for her to visit me on a date night. She did come over on her own in the past, now she is suggesting I come get her.  Now I feel this is a little much having to drive 30min to get her, bring her back to my house, then back to her home again, then have to drive 30 min back to my house.  She seems ok to ask this of me and doesn’t see why its a problem. So we didn’t have date night because of that.  Her reasoning was if she is out late, she will not find a parking spot in her area. which I understand as well.  So when date night doesn’t happen 2 weeks will pass without seeing each other.  She says she wants to see me but have had a poor excuse to not being able to make date night.

I’ll get into that in a second.  Before that excuse I got a call from her saying she has a couple hours if I want to hang out today (Saturday).  Knowing our time is scarce I came out by her for a 2 hour dinner and paid for it as usual.  Here’s the problem, Before this date we planned a date night at my house where she was supposed to come over at 6pm (Sunday) and leave for work in the morning. We also talked about it at this dinner.  She mentioned she had some things to do throughout the day.  I was fine but on the day she would text me every whereabouts. I thought this was strange and was feeling like she was setting up for her to cancel again saying she is tired or something.  Later in this day I got a text that she has to go to the airport at 8pm.  Her best friend is coming from out of town and needs a ride.  Huh?  I didn’t say anything... she later sent a text that she will call me when she is back home.  When she calls she's saying don’t be mad at her but she has a bad headache and can’t make it out tonight. Now Mondays were days she mentioned she wanted to save for us in the past.  But didn’t even suggest it this time. 

I told her she has some making up to do and she will need to call me when she wants to hang out and if I’m available we will.  She admits that I handled it better than she would, as she would be pissed and would tell me Not to call her again. She also tells me she wants to see me and that her interest is still there. I tell her that her resent actions say otherwise and until I can see different I will treat it as such. 

So now today no good morning text, no call as usual no communications and I value myself too much to call her.  Did she just break up with me nicely? and did I just give her an Out from a relationship that seemed nice but shrunk to nothing due to work load? I think shes lost interest and maybe interested in someone at the new job.  But that's just heartache taking over my mind.  Any feedback would be appreciated.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2019, 12:35:14 PM by BorisGustavo »

December 29, 2019, 06:47:10 PM
Reply #1
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85percent


No, not over but she is definitely upset. You need to have a sit down and get on the same page. Ask her how she feels and if you are both on the same page with where the relationship is going and where it could go. Then, you should figure out and PUT TIME ASIDE to actually see each other. Healthy relationships can’t go on autopilot. If it is important for you and her to continue then it takes commitment and sacrifice to see each other.

March 23, 2020, 10:41:11 PM
Reply #2
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annalorraine


It seems to me that she is upset about the situation. What you need to do is talk about the issue and see what ways you can both do to address this issue. It is vital that when it comes to big problems that you are both on the same page amd you agree on how you are going to approach the issue.

April 13, 2020, 09:01:27 AM
Reply #3
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dinamrrs


I don’t want to upset you, but it seems to me that she uses you. Perhaps you are right, and she is really interested in someone at work. Just her behavior clearly shows that you are not in her priority. Therefore, you must do what you value yourself.
When my husband got a mistress, he also stopped giving me time, constantly saying that he was too tired at work and that he had no mood for sex or any kind of joint rest. Of course, at first I was looking for a reason in myself. And I didn't understand what was the matter, since I was keep my good appearance, I also didn't sit at home, I worked. In addition, I manage to control to house: I cook and clean when I have the time and energy to do this. At first I was upset, and then I sat down and just thought that I deserved more. And that I won’t lose anything if we divorce him. When I told him about these thoughts, he got angry and told me about his mistress. Then I immediately turned to the document processing service necessary to divorce process in court. Of course, first at all, I read OnlineDivorce.com review, I needed a quality guarantee and the quick completion of this action. The husband, of course, was upset, because after registering the divorce, I drove him out of the house (because it belonged to me). Now I'm lonely and happy, I have everything I need, and no one upsets me. I advise you to value yourself rather than leaning in front of her.

April 25, 2020, 03:12:31 AM
Reply #4
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Here to help you


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