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Author Topic: Crippled to make a(nother) move. Been seeing each other for a while.

March 12, 2019, 09:44:09 AM
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So, my problem is that I've never had a relationship before (I'm 25 this year,.. I know..it sounds bad) and I'm crippled by anxiety whenever I like someone. On top of this, I have small penis syndrome, in that I'm embarrassed about my slightly under average size.
Now that this is out there, I've been seeing a girl that I've met through friends years ago. I have a lot of instances with her in which I probably should have made a move and get serious but was always crippled by my insecurities.
Last year she broke up with her ex and in the last few months we started seeing each other more often mostly through our common friends. We also went out a few times just the two of us where we had nice talks. The first time we saw each other was when she wanted to borrow some board game from me to play with her coworkers. That day, after we met and talked for a while at the mall, we went to the parking lot so I would give her the game. We sort of said good bye but she was just standing there lingering facing me and I mustered up some courage to get close so I grabbed her by the waist and wanted to pull her closer and go for the kiss but she looked at me and said "What? " , after which I panicked ( on the inside) , lost my voice for a second , and with a cracked voice said to her I was nervous and I'm sorry for that. She said, surprisingly, that it's fine , it's just that she is in a bad place and needs time and went her way ( it was probably just me, but looking at her leave it seemed like she was happy and "floating" away). After that awkward moment I ( surprisingly) got over it quickly and thought she will never want to see me again. We met each other again after a couple weeks at my place with some friends and had a nice time. We all ended up staying the night at my place. I slept with her but didn't do anything except throw my hand around her. This happened again after another meet-up at my place, this time she hugged me back but still nothing more. We had some nice and revealing conversations including my insecurities and she seemed very supportive. We arranged after a while to see each other alone, we had long conversations and this is where I went crazy and told her all my insecurities and the vibe went stale (many things were said, for example that she liked me and she would not care for those things that much but she still wants to figure stuff out and maybe it's not our time). I took her home and a couple days later I texted her because I was overwhelmed by my insecurities in which she said that this can't be right now and I should look for someone else and thanked me for being good to her and other bullsheet :) . I then started to look on the internet to learn about my mistakes and began working more on myself while deciding to lose contact for a longer period of time. Fast forward weeks and we still met through our friends quite a few times. She still comes close to me sometimes, touches me, calls me names and I do reciprocate . Last weekend , the four of us ( my friends are a couple) went to a small party where we danced and smoked and ended up , again , at my place where we all had deep conversations but this time she wanted to sleep with her girlfriend. The next day we went for barbecue at my friend's place and called it a night. There are many other details missed here but it would have made the post a novel. If you need details I'm happy to give.
My question is, I want to get her alone again since probably more than 80% of the time we meet in a group and I would like to be more direct and ask  her over to my place for dinner , movie and some drinks. Should I do this? How do I formulate it? Should I suggest somewhere public instead? Should I wait longer to text?
Thanks for reading and for any response in advance :)


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