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Author Topic: Started dating my best friend... Tips for the transition?

April 08, 2019, 08:40:45 PM
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astromeridian


Hello! Ok so about 7 or 8 months ago I met this guy at school and we became friends. As we got to know each other I realized I had developed a crush on him, and then 3 or 4 months ago realized I had feelings for him. I told him I had feelings for him in late February. It was complicated because he at the time had feelings for another girl who he knew could never love him, and he wanted to like me but didn't because of her. But he understood. We stayed friends. Then he asked me to prom, and then I started noticing a change about 2 weeks ago. We were flirting more and then had a pretty serous discussion about the idea of us dating. Well, two days after that discussion he asked me out. This was a week ago. Things are going well so far. We're talking every day all day, we went on our first official date, and it's been a good time for both of us. However we've only hugged once (was a bit awkward lol)  and havent held hands/kissed/etc. I told him I had been too nervous to grab his hand during our date. This is my first ever relationship, and being with someone who's been just a friend for months, it's been a little weird adjusting to. He said to take my time and go at a comfortable pace for me, and that he's open to anything. I just really really want this to work out, and even though I know it will, I'm still anxious. I think I will be good once we've established all our boundaries (ie. First kiss, etc). Its also different adjusting to talking every day. Even though we talked a lot before dating, we didn't text every single day. But now that we have been, we've talked every day which is AWESOME but im always nervous about him texting first (before we started dating, I started most of the convos). Does anyone have any tips on this transition? Tips to make it easier and more comfortable on both our ends? Tips to make communication better? On my part its hard just getting used to being with a boy, and on his end he's had a bad past with past relationships that ended horribly, so I know he has to be a little nervous too. Anything would be helpful. Help a gal out, I love being with him, thank you :))

May 08, 2019, 04:42:38 PM
Reply #1
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Lakrisal


I'm not sure I have great advice for you, since I am myself in a similar situation (we've known each other for 8 years and live a couple of hours of travel away from each other). What I think might help is to start slow where physical proximity and intimacy is concerned. My friend and I don't meet up very often, but when we do, we often touch each other in small ways. Sideways hugging, having one's arm around the other's shoulders or waist/back, walking with our arms linked together, scratching each other's back. These are small actions that I would not mind sharing with other close friends, but we share them a little more frequently and I think (hope!) it will work as a way for us to get around to kissing, cuddling and other more intimate gestures.

Also, I think admitting that you're nervous and sharing your feelings makes it easier. If you go out on another date and you'd like to try and hold his hand, maybe you can tell him that? "I'd really like to try what it's like to hold your hand right now, would that be okay?" Maybe he can help out by extending his hand, and you can sort of meet halfway in that gesture :)

I hope this all works out well for you, and wish you all the best of luck!

 

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