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Author Topic: Is it better to tell the truth if thinking of breaking up or tell a white lie?

April 27, 2019, 11:56:29 PM
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Tamara Gibson

I'm a woman and I'm dating this incredible guy since a couple of weeks and I could totally see us in a lasting relationship but there is one major problem: I'm not turned on by his body because he has a big gut. I couldn't really tell beforehand since he always wore very baggy clothes but the other day we had sex for the first time and when I saw him naked I honestly was really turned off by this. I didn't show it because I really like him but I fear that this will become an issue since it doesn't make me want to have sex with him. I'm really torn because I know it's not something you can address easily... I asked several friends and everyone seems to think that I can't tell him that. They say I should break up with him over a lack of chemistry, and not say anything about the weight. I understand what they mean, I don't want to hurt his feelings either but a part of me things a)we do have chemistry and b) a lack of chemistry implies that it's a final thing, that it's not fixable. I know and agree that we shouldn't try to change people but what if he would want to change that if he only knew that it's an issue? I know he really likes me and I really like him but I'm afraid that it will become an even bigger issue since I will not be into having sex... It's not that I don't want to kiss him or hold hands, it's just when I see him naked I don't want to look at him... I'm very much into aesthetics, I'm also in great shape, and yet, I'm so sad that this could end things. He has a cute face and a beautiful soul. Is there a way to bring up the issue without being hurtful? Or do I really have to make it about something that it's not? I'd really appreciate some feedback.


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