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Author Topic: My current relationship started as an affair. Can we make it work?

April 17, 2019, 12:00:16 PM
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So... For the sticky bits.

Recently, I renounced my faith and "came out" (for want of better phrasing) as atheist. Naturally, my super religious then-wife didn't take too kindly to this. I was rejected by her, her family, and my own. My business partner and I - who have been friends for many years- started talking more frequently, and she was an amazing pillar of support in this time of transition. But, she was also married.

We developed an emotional bond, which evolved into an affair, and eventually both ended up leaving our spouses. We are now fully committed,  living together and engaged (yay!!).


There are tons of insecurities that (I believe) have their roots in the fact that we started off with an affair. We are both extremely jealous (neither of us used to be). We check up on each other ALL DAMN DAY, every day. Trust is a major problem, we both frequently check one another's latest online activity, track each other's locations, etc.

I know you're going to tell me the dynamic is unhealthy. I know! I need help to overcome these issues. It has been over a year now, and I still love her as madly as I did when our relationship started. I plan on spending the rest of my life with her (and our two kids). I really don't need the "once a cheat, always a cheat" lecture, as we have both been lashed quite enough by it.

I am desperate for help to get us from this pit of bitter poison, to a place of trust and security.

Thanks in advance.

July 03, 2019, 12:38:04 AM
Reply #1


An office affair can still work, I was with my ex for nearly 20 years based of the back of an office affair   She was also married at the time.  You need to trust each other, if you can accept that she loves you then that should be enough.