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Author Topic: How do I get her to talk to me?

October 30, 2019, 01:12:37 PM
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I dont want to bore ya guys with my long story. It is sure to confuse everyone enough. However I can over time explain a few situations as and when needed. So here I go with my story and I will try to keep it as short as possible!
I'm 40, she is 35
I returned home after a long time for a short vacation. A month later she came to our home as a paying guest and I fell for her soon after. A month later she professed her love and we had a bit of physical intimacy. Soon after she professed her love, she disappeared and left for her home. There was no contact for over 5 days and when she returned, as I went to cuddle her, she asked me not to touch her. So  I stayed away, then she started to show interest in me again. But I was a bit put off with her coming close to me as she never gave any reason for her disappearance and her cold shoulder after that.
One fine night she said she had no interest in me whatsover but wanted to remain friends.. i asked her straight away if she is seeing someone else. Her response was NO. I asked her if there was any chance we could be together in future, her answer was vague but she said there might be a chance later ON. I said I am willing to take that 1% chance and work towards it.
Soon after we were close again not as gf or bf but pretty close. We began to share the same bed and some nights even had sex. However sometimes I noticed she wasn't into it, so one night i expressed my displeasure and got into an argument.
I always felt something was OFF. she was hot and cold and so one day i decided to spy on her coz i was tired of her putting me on ice every now and then and besides she was a bit of a habitual liar which she admitted. I caught her with a guy. When I confronted the guy he admitted he had sexual relations with and that he sometimes helps her with money too...
I felt the tension between me and the guy and he seemed pissed off to as he had no idea she was with me too.
I soon broke off with her and asked her to leave my house and also asked her to repay all the money I once helped her with assuming she was in need. To my surpise she said she was dissappointed in me and was never interested in me but the other guy, who she thinks is the right fit for her.
She doesnt live with us anymore, but as I think of it, despite the fact that she wasn't honest with me and used me, i felt I was too harsh and felt I could have handled things differently.
Now I have been trying to contact her to apologise her but she never responds. She wasnt that bad at all, but confused in the head most of the times because of poor upbringing. I really miss her and despite not my fault I hope she forgives me and hope we are atleast on talking terms. Even that will make me happy.
So I am trying my own by sending her 30 sec audio message on Whatsapp. She has already removed me from her contacts list, (as I dont see her photo anymore) But she certainly listened to the voice message as the double green tick showed up.
I am making it a mission to send a voice message every single day for as long as it takes, be a year ot a decade, because I know she has gotten hurt big time. She is a very emotional woman and I know she feels a lot regardless of whose mistake it was.
Do you think at some time she would talk to me at the very least or respond to the message?

December 09, 2019, 03:33:56 AM
Reply #1


Go up to her with courage & act natural. I always say in my head that im bound to do great things in my life don't give up

April 06, 2020, 07:14:21 AM
Reply #2


I honestly think that your reaction from the cheating was normal. I know people react differently but I think you made the best choice for yourself. She cheated on you and then told you " i was never interested by you". Maybe it was during your argument, and emotionnal thought came out. You would have wanted to handle things differently, but how? She hurt you badly, that's why you react this way (which is understandable).

I think she needed someone to tell her that she can't play with two guys and think no one will be hurt. I don't think she would talk to you, but I'm scared that if she does it would end the same way. But, everything remains possible.

If I could advise you one thing is to move on and stop texting her. I know it sucks and hurts because you seem to really love her and care about her. I think she gives you the silence treatment to make you understand she won't respond to any of your message. I guess what I'm really trying to say is to no wait for her for a year, a decade. Honestly, if it's been a while you send a voice message and she didn't at least ask you stop, it's really unfair because she let you hurt by having false hope. Having no response continue uncertainty. Uncertainty means there is hope. And just for that, you should move on because at some point it's too easy for her to go away from problem and not be confronted to her own mistakes.

Wish you the best

With Love,

Live. Just live.