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Author Topic: Hanging out with ex-gf's friends

July 31, 2018, 01:52:16 AM
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feltbetter


I feel sad for our friends who got caught in between me and my gf’s break up. Technically, they were her friends until I got introduced to them. We’ve made our own bond and I now consider them as my buddies too. I’ve talked to one of them recently and he said he missed the Sunday bbqs at each other’s houses. He said he wished we could all all hang out and none of it (our break up) would matter.

I don’t like the feeling of burdening people with the events of my life. I told him we could all still hangout if she’s (my ex) already comfortable with it. I think the last time we all hung out was during the new years party dating service celebration we had early 2018. So my friend said he’ll plan a day for us to get together again. Was I wrong to say it was fine to hangout with them? They were her friends first not mine.

July 31, 2018, 09:01:49 AM
Reply #1

Staff

Forum Staff
I feel sad for our friends who got caught in between me and my gf’s break up. Technically, they were her friends until I got introduced to them. We’ve made our own bond and I now consider them as my buddies too. I’ve talked to one of them recently and he said he missed the Sunday bbqs at each other’s houses. He said he wished we could all all hang out and none of it (our break up) would matter.

I don’t like the feeling of burdening people with the events of my life. I told him we could all still hangout if she’s (my ex) already comfortable with it. I think the last time we all hung out was during the new years party dating service celebration we had early 2018. So my friend said he’ll plan a day for us to get together again. Was I wrong to say it was fine to hangout with them? They were her friends first not mine.

This is why I wouldn't personally date anyone in the same friendship group, it can cause a lot of issues later down the line. Plus, it will be hard for you to 'get over' the relationship and ultimately move on, as she is always around.

I think you need to almost establish a working relationship (friends) with your ex, one that's on good terms, so, you all can all still be friends.

May I ask why you broke up?
Your friendly neighborhood moderator.=)

August 04, 2018, 12:32:48 PM
Reply #2

Steve5


These types of scenarios are often complicated. You can't really say until you're there. You won't know if you made the wrong decision unless you try. So if you think it's worth it, why not take the chance to bond with your friends?  :D

August 09, 2018, 11:25:02 PM
Reply #3

Corzhens


It depends on the type of friendship that you have with those friends of your ex. If you feel very comfortable with them and that hanging out with them is just between you and them that means topics about ex are excluded then I think that's just fine. One more thing, you only hang out when you enjoy their company. And now that you have parted with your ex, do you still like to hang out with them just like the good old times? If you are not comfortable in being with them then it is easy to think of an alibi to evade their invitation.

August 10, 2018, 09:50:34 AM
Reply #4

Steve5


It depends on the type of friendship that you have with those friends of your ex. If you feel very comfortable with them and that hanging out with them is just between you and them that means topics about ex are excluded then I think that's just fine. One more thing, you only hang out when you enjoy their company. And now that you have parted with your ex, do you still like to hang out with them just like the good old times? If you are not comfortable in being with them then it is easy to think of an alibi to evade their invitation.

I find it hard whenever stuff like this happens. I find that talking to them helps. People are a lot more mature than we think. They'll understand whatever your decision is. Parting in good ways will be nice for you and your friends. But if you've chosen to stay connected, knowing what you're going through will help them gain much needed context.

August 10, 2018, 11:18:08 AM
Reply #5

jaymish


Weird situation, but life happens.I think this would depend on the break up. Was it acrimonious?Are you on good terms?If the break up was civil and they are no hard feelings I guess it's okay. Talk to your Ex and see how she feels about it. As you said they were her friends before they were yours. You also have to consider that she may be in another relationship and may want to bring her new boyfriend, you may also move on and want to include your new girlfriend. Best solution talk, be honest and decide the best course of action. Remember to factor in those scenarios.

August 10, 2018, 11:52:26 AM
Reply #6

wallet


This is really complicated, but I think there is nothing wrong to stay friends and hang out together, still, I don't think that your ex-girlfriend will adopt this behavior especially if you will come with another woman or she will come with another man.
I think is better to hang out with her/your friends when she is not around.

August 11, 2018, 04:16:22 PM
Reply #7

Steve5


I think so too. It's not really wise to do that in front of your ex. It's better to hang out with your intended group of friends alone.  :)

 

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