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Author Topic: 26 W and still figuring out if I'm Bi

December 27, 2019, 12:04:09 AM
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Still I was a teen, I've only been attracted towards men. I never once considered same gender when it came to relationships or sex. I grew up feeling a weird aversion to girls though due to bullying mostly from girls calling me a tomboy or not girly enough. This caused me to only veer towards guys as friends and eventually want to date them. Years later in college, my dislike towards girls left since I had no good reason to feel annoyance towards them and tried to form meaningful friendships with them.

At age 20, I remember at college I met a girl that caught my eye since she appeared like a punk gamer girl which strangely appealed to me. I summoned the courage to talk to her and managed to get her number so we can talk some more. That simple interaction made me think about her daily. It was a feeling I've never experienced before. I even felt jealous when she revealed she had a boyfriend. The friendship just didn't last into anything but I always remained curious after that. I continued to fall for boys and continued to date them. However, randomly a girl will catch my eye and drive me crazy whether it was her intention or not. I suppose a particular brand of girls catch my eye.

However, i never dated a girl or experimented in anyway. I've been too scared believing I'm over thinking these feelings and worried about being judged by my traditional family over pursuing these strange feelings. So I figured its best to bury these thoughts.

But here I am again. (again on my own) age 26. I met a girl my age at a nerdy convention and we have hit it off since. Same likes. Same hobbies. Same tastes. Same almost everything. BUT we are only friends. Which I'm happy to at least have with her. I'm not sure about her sexuality but she is certainty engaged to a guy she's known for years. They're a beautiful couple I've gotten to know over time. And yet. She is always on my mind. Every occasion I hang out with her, I want to hold her hand, kiss her, spoil her with gifts, hell even fantasize a world where we live together as a couple. And yes even sexual fantasies. It's been two year of this with her.

I'm not even sure what I want to ask with all these things. I guess I'm wondering if all these things make me indeed bi. I still love men and having sex with them. But part of me finds a yearning towards particular girls. Both romantically and sometimes sexually.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2019, 05:32:40 AM by serena008 »

February 24, 2020, 09:53:55 AM
Reply #1


I’m 28 yo woman and I’m married to a men. We dated for 5 years and got married last year. I have kissed girls 2 times before and wasn’t ready to go further than that then. Both girls were heterosexual like me but wanted to try it.

I always had on my bucket list to have sex with a woman. I just never had the occasion to do so before falling in love with my husband. At some point in our relationship, I had a lot of sex dreams about woman. So I talked to my husband and told him that I wanted to have a threesome or only once have a sexual intercourse with a woman before reaching 30 yo. And he was okay with that.

I think that Sexuality is something fluide that changes with time. I only kissed those 2 women because they are the only ones that I connected with that way. And I wasn’t going to have sex with them because at that time I couldn’t imagine going further. Today I feel that I am able to go further and have sex with a women. But I do need to feel that attraction first.

I feel that you are in love with your friend. You have 2 options :

1/ you tell her how you really feel, the risk is that your might loose her friendship but at least you will be able to move on

2/ you don’t tell her how you feel and you stay stuck in that situation for too long

Or you can try dating a different woman who is available and step away slowly from your toxic friendship.

February 27, 2020, 10:29:15 PM
Reply #2


in my opinion, the best way to figure out your sexuality is to pick a label and wait to be proven wrong. if you think you might be bi, how about this - you're bi now. date whoever strikes your fancy, and if once you do get into a relationship with a woman or have sex with one, you realize it's not for you, you'll know for sure you're straight and won't have to deal with the lingering doubt. if you do end up liking it, i promise it's for the best - even if you have to struggle with your family's disapproval, it's better than living a life never knowing what you could have had.