Lets Chat Love
Register An AccountLogin

Author Topic: We might be

July 07, 2019, 01:50:00 PM
Read 539 times
Offline

Garona


This might be longish, so apologise in advance.

Just for the understanding of how serious the emotions involved are, I am a female who has been independent and extremely reserved since early age and quite mature, and in two previous relationships I have never felt any strong emotions although I did care for the both of them. I just figured I am not an emotional person, as it shows in other aspects of my life.

Not to go in depth with everything, I fell in love. For the first time in my life there are these emotions which are so strong, I am finally aware that it was never that I'm emotionless, I just needed to find that person for me. The guy and I hooked up by accident once in December. I went home the same week and didn't see him for a month, we never spoke about the event. When I got back, it got really frustrating and one drunken night I told someone else who he knew as well, and that person confronted him (stupid move). Him and I had a really honest chat and he admitted his feelings towards me (as I did to him), but said he can't be with someone who's done that to him (which was a decision I respected). This was the very beginning of February.

Fast forward to mid May (me deeply in love at this point but respecting his decision), one drunken staff night, we did it again and in the morning we both admitted it never went away. So we tried to make it work for a month before I went away again (this time for two whole months). As the workload for him was greater than mine (he's our team leader) and he had some personal and family issues, we barely saw each other and I realised quite early on something was off. It came to the point we had an honest chat once again and he told me what was on his mind: until quite recently he was in a relationship for five years with a girl who he planned marriage with and joined life. It apparently went south last year by itself and he never really felt like he got a closure out of it as they never fell out, just ended it. He felt anxious when making plans with me as he realised it was really hard for him to do it all over again. He said he needs to work it out with himself first. At this point, I was heartbroken because I knew what it meant, but when I saw him crying and asking me if I hated him, I realised I am so deeply in love I am willing to wait. We slept in each other's arms that night and he left the following day. But I didn't say my peace and it bothered me. Working with him really closely brought us together quite often and I couldn't. I just couldn't leave for two months without saying what I had to say, saying what I couldn't when I was so shaken with the fact we won't make it just yet. So the day before I was meant to leave (my last shift) I asked him if we could talk once again and he came to my flat. I told him everything that was on my chest and how I want him to be honest with me if he's ever ready and willing to give it a go because I am, I am more than ready to be his (as stubborn as I am). I also gave him a chance to be honest with me if he didn't want it at all and since it camw really hard to me to word my feelings out (I've struggled with that all my life), he said it himself "I am taking time for myself right now, when that changes I am going to talk to you" which was all I asked him to do. We ended up together that night as well (just to make it clear: we've done many things together, but never had sex) and went our separate ways the following day, confessing that we'll miss each other.

Now, I am away (we're not in contact but both of us are really weird on that part in general) and I can't stop thinking about him. I know this is it. I have never felt this way in my life and I know we'd be so good together. And I think I am going to wait. My question is: do you think it's worth it?

July 09, 2019, 03:45:47 PM
Reply #1
Offline

ReneeOfHearts


I'm in the same kind if thing.


Im asking myself the same thing you're asking.

July 09, 2019, 04:04:02 PM
Reply #2
Offline

Penchant


From a fellow guys perspective, love proposal by men most times, are infatuations... Be careful how deep u fall in love, so u don't get emotional crash