I'll start with a little back story.

I've known this girl for about 4 years now. I can remember the day I met her, my friends and I went out for a guys night and we were a bit intoxicated and decided to get some food at this rooftop restaurant and she was our server. We were all laughing and having a good time after we had finished our food and got another round of drinks. She came back over to the table and asked if we were alright and if there was anything else we needed, so I jokingly said "I'd be a lot better if I had your number" (cliche I know, give me a break I was drunk) but she smiled and blushed a little and walked away. So I figured that was the end of that, but then not even a week later we matched on Tinder and she invited me over to a little party at her house with a few friends. All went well and I ended up spending the night with her and we slept together but not in a sexual way. After that she just stopped talking to me altogether, but her best friend and I became friends and we have met up a few times over the next few years. So again, I figured that was the end of anything happening with her.

Over the years every once in a while, whether I saw her with our mutual friend or whenever I would initiate a conversation it would go nowhere, so we never really got to know each other. We've both been doing our own things and in and out of relationships, but I always tried to stay friendly with her.


Here's where it get's a little interesting.

I got out of a relationship probably 8 months ago and have been enjoying being single doing the Tinder thing. Lo and behold, we matched again within this past month or so; I ended up getting her phone number and we were supposed to meet up for lunch but I wasn't able to make it due to a work emergency, and she's falls off the map. So, I'm still in my single state of mind and just move on. About a week later our mutual friend hits me up and we went out for drinks and in conversation I confessed how I had had a crush on her since I met her.

New years eve her best friend messages me asking what my plans are for the night. I told them that I had to see a friend for his birthday, but that I really just wanted to kiss my crush for New Years. So they invited me to meet up with the both of them. I went and partied with my friend for a few hours during which they're both texting me multiple times pushing me to meet up with them. I rushed to where they were, making it there 10 minutes before New Years and swooped in for the New Years kiss. Score. Her and I went back to her house and I spent the night and we fooled around all night with our clothes off but didn't go all the way because she wanted to take it slow. I mean I can respect that but normally I would have been at least a little upset but it didn't bother me at all so we continued to make out, etc.., and talk all night long until we fell asleep. I felt a real connection, like I haven't felt it before. Like not having sex with her was better than having sex with any other girl I've ever slept with before.

The next day we cuddled and talked all morning and I was happy to still feel that same connection; she even admitted to me "I normally hate cuddling but I really like it a lot with you for some reason" and tells me that she actually does want to sleep with me eventually, but just not right away. All throughout the morning we're getting to know each other more and more and I'm realizing how many things we actually have in common. Everything she was telling me was making me like her even more than I imagined. I told her as much and asked her out to dinner with no particular date in mind to an amazing place right near her house she had never been to that happened to be her favorite type of food, and she agreed. It felt like everything had fallen into place and I had a chance with this amazing girl who had been hiding under my nose all along. But after more laughter, cuddling and talking sadly I had to leave for work. One thing threw me off that morning though, she did tell me at one point that it would probably still be hard to get a hold of her that she is the type of person to read a message or look at a call and not answer it.



Since that night/morning we haven't stopped talking to each other and have been very flirty and I can still somewhat feel the connection, but its like she's pushing me away even whether I'm starting the conversation or she is. Anytime I bring up seeing her again she either doesn't answer me or flat out ignores that I brought it up.

I'm so confused, on one hand it feels like every other time we've almost talked, but at the same time it doesn't. Am I just over thinking things?
I can't read this girl... I just know that I really don't want to mess this up, any advice would be appreciated. Please help.

Quote from: missg on January 04, 2019, 06:41:39 PM

Quote from: ender644 on January 04, 2019, 07:29:40 AM

I'll start with a little back story.

I've known this girl for about 4 years now. I can remember the day I met her, my friends and I went out for a guys night and we were a bit intoxicated and decided to get some food at this rooftop restaurant and she was our server. We were all laughing and having a good time after we had finished our food and got another round of drinks. She came back over to the table and asked if we were alright and if there was anything else we needed, so I jokingly said "I'd be a lot better if I had your number" (cliche I know, give me a break I was drunk) but she smiled and blushed a little and walked away. So I figured that was the end of that, but then not even a week later we matched on Tinder and she invited me over to a little party at her house with a few friends. All went well and I ended up spending the night with her and we slept together but not in a sexual way. After that she just stopped talking to me altogether, but her best friend and I became friends and we have met up a few times over the next few years. So again, I figured that was the end of anything happening with her.

Over the years every once in a while, whether I saw her with our mutual friend or whenever I would initiate a conversation it would go nowhere, so we never really got to know each other. We've both been doing our own things and in and out of relationships, but I always tried to stay friendly with her.


Here's where it get's a little interesting.

I got out of a relationship probably 8 months ago and have been enjoying being single doing the Tinder thing. Lo and behold, we matched again within this past month or so; I ended up getting her phone number and we were supposed to meet up for lunch but I wasn't able to make it due to a work emergency, and she's falls off the map. So, I'm still in my single state of mind and just move on. About a week later our mutual friend hits me up and we went out for drinks and in conversation I confessed how I had had a crush on her since I met her.

New years eve her best friend messages me asking what my plans are for the night. I told them that I had to see a friend for his birthday, but that I really just wanted to kiss my crush for New Years. So they invited me to meet up with the both of them. I went and partied with my friend for a few hours during which they're both texting me multiple times pushing me to meet up with them. I rushed to where they were, making it there 10 minutes before New Years and swooped in for the New Years kiss. Score. Her and I went back to her house and I spent the night and we fooled around all night with our clothes off but didn't go all the way because she wanted to take it slow. I mean I can respect that but normally I would have been at least a little upset but it didn't bother me at all so we continued to make out, etc.., and talk all night long until we fell asleep. I felt a real connection, like I haven't felt it before. Like not having sex with her was better than having sex with any other girl I've ever slept with before.

The next day we cuddled and talked all morning and I was happy to still feel that same connection; she even admitted to me "I normally hate cuddling but I really like it a lot with you for some reason" and tells me that she actually does want to sleep with me eventually, but just not right away. All throughout the morning we're getting to know each other more and more and I'm realizing how many things we actually have in common. Everything she was telling me was making me like her even more than I imagined. I told her as much and asked her out to dinner with no particular date in mind to an amazing place right near her house she had never been to that happened to be her favorite type of food, and she agreed. It felt like everything had fallen into place and I had a chance with this amazing girl who had been hiding under my nose all along. But after more laughter, cuddling and talking sadly I had to leave for work. One thing threw me off that morning though, she did tell me at one point that it would probably still be hard to get a hold of her that she is the type of person to read a message or look at a call and not answer it.



Since that night/morning we haven't stopped talking to each other and have been very flirty and I can still somewhat feel the connection, but its like she's pushing me away even whether I'm starting the conversation or she is. Anytime I bring up seeing her again she either doesn't answer me or flat out ignores that I brought it up.

I'm so confused, on one hand it feels like every other time we've almost talked, but at the same time it doesn't. Am I just over thinking things?
I can't read this girl... I just know that I really don't want to mess this up, any advice would be appreciated. Please help.

Heya @ender644 , ive noticed you have posted twice regarding this subject, has anything else happened since? Have you met up?

It sounds like she's playing hard to get, how old are you both? Has she previously had any serious relationships?

It could be that she's scared of being hurt again, but then we wouldn't know that for sure without some further context!

Is she quite shy?

Thanks for the response missg,

I'm 26 and she's 23, as long as I've known her she had one serious relationship and I had 2.

We haven't met up but after not getting a response I messaged her saying "I missed you, are we were still on for dinner? I was really looking forward to it."

She apologized for not getting back and explained that she withdraws from people when she's feeling stressed, but would still love dinner. We ended up talking all night about what was going on after I told her that she can talk to me about anything. She's really stressing about her friend in the hospital (taken off life support and breathing but also on suicide watch) and her financial situation (can't afford her apartment since her roommates left but stuck on the lease), I listened to her talk about it and gave the best advice I could. After a few hours of talking she thanked me for listening and I told her that it was no problem and I would listen to her any time of the day at all. She had work in the morning though and had to go to sleep shortly after so I sent a cute good night text and woke up to a good morning one from her.
It made my day, but now she's back to withdrawing.
I just want to be there for her, and I wish that she'd respond.

But maybe I should give her some space?

Quote from: ender644 on January 06, 2019, 05:23:32 AM

Quote from: missg on January 04, 2019, 06:41:39 PM

Quote from: ender644 on January 04, 2019, 07:29:40 AM

I'll start with a little back story.

I've known this girl for about 4 years now. I can remember the day I met her, my friends and I went out for a guys night and we were a bit intoxicated and decided to get some food at this rooftop restaurant and she was our server. We were all laughing and having a good time after we had finished our food and got another round of drinks. She came back over to the table and asked if we were alright and if there was anything else we needed, so I jokingly said "I'd be a lot better if I had your number" (cliche I know, give me a break I was drunk) but she smiled and blushed a little and walked away. So I figured that was the end of that, but then not even a week later we matched on Tinder and she invited me over to a little party at her house with a few friends. All went well and I ended up spending the night with her and we slept together but not in a sexual way. After that she just stopped talking to me altogether, but her best friend and I became friends and we have met up a few times over the next few years. So again, I figured that was the end of anything happening with her.

Over the years every once in a while, whether I saw her with our mutual friend or whenever I would initiate a conversation it would go nowhere, so we never really got to know each other. We've both been doing our own things and in and out of relationships, but I always tried to stay friendly with her.


Here's where it get's a little interesting.

I got out of a relationship probably 8 months ago and have been enjoying being single doing the Tinder thing. Lo and behold, we matched again within this past month or so; I ended up getting her phone number and we were supposed to meet up for lunch but I wasn't able to make it due to a work emergency, and she's falls off the map. So, I'm still in my single state of mind and just move on. About a week later our mutual friend hits me up and we went out for drinks and in conversation I confessed how I had had a crush on her since I met her.

New years eve her best friend messages me asking what my plans are for the night. I told them that I had to see a friend for his birthday, but that I really just wanted to kiss my crush for New Years. So they invited me to meet up with the both of them. I went and partied with my friend for a few hours during which they're both texting me multiple times pushing me to meet up with them. I rushed to where they were, making it there 10 minutes before New Years and swooped in for the New Years kiss. Score. Her and I went back to her house and I spent the night and we fooled around all night with our clothes off but didn't go all the way because she wanted to take it slow. I mean I can respect that but normally I would have been at least a little upset but it didn't bother me at all so we continued to make out, etc.., and talk all night long until we fell asleep. I felt a real connection, like I haven't felt it before. Like not having sex with her was better than having sex with any other girl I've ever slept with before.

The next day we cuddled and talked all morning and I was happy to still feel that same connection; she even admitted to me "I normally hate cuddling but I really like it a lot with you for some reason" and tells me that she actually does want to sleep with me eventually, but just not right away. All throughout the morning we're getting to know each other more and more and I'm realizing how many things we actually have in common. Everything she was telling me was making me like her even more than I imagined. I told her as much and asked her out to dinner with no particular date in mind to an amazing place right near her house she had never been to that happened to be her favorite type of food, and she agreed. It felt like everything had fallen into place and I had a chance with this amazing girl who had been hiding under my nose all along. But after more laughter, cuddling and talking sadly I had to leave for work. One thing threw me off that morning though, she did tell me at one point that it would probably still be hard to get a hold of her that she is the type of person to read a message or look at a call and not answer it.



Since that night/morning we haven't stopped talking to each other and have been very flirty and I can still somewhat feel the connection, but its like she's pushing me away even whether I'm starting the conversation or she is. Anytime I bring up seeing her again she either doesn't answer me or flat out ignores that I brought it up.

I'm so confused, on one hand it feels like every other time we've almost talked, but at the same time it doesn't. Am I just over thinking things?
I can't read this girl... I just know that I really don't want to mess this up, any advice would be appreciated. Please help.

Heya @ender644 , ive noticed you have posted twice regarding this subject, has anything else happened since? Have you met up?

It sounds like she's playing hard to get, how old are you both? Has she previously had any serious relationships?

It could be that she's scared of being hurt again, but then we wouldn't know that for sure without some further context!

Is she quite shy?

Thanks for the response missg,

I'm 26 and she's 23, as long as I've known her she had one serious relationship and I had 2.

We haven't met up but after not getting a response I messaged her saying "I missed you, are we were still on for dinner? I was really looking forward to it."

She apologized for not getting back and explained that she withdraws from people when she's feeling stressed, but would still love dinner. We ended up talking all night about what was going on after I told her that she can talk to me about anything. She's really stressing about her friend in the hospital (taken off life support and breathing but also on suicide watch) and her financial situation (can't afford her apartment since her roommates left but stuck on the lease), I listened to her talk about it and gave the best advice I could. After a few hours of talking she thanked me for listening and I told her that it was no problem and I would listen to her any time of the day at all. She had work in the morning though and had to go to sleep shortly after so I sent a cute good night text and woke up to a good morning one from her.
It made my day, but now she's back to withdrawing.
I just want to be there for her, and I wish that she'd respond.

But maybe I should give her some space?

Hey @ender644, I originally responded to this message but for some reason it didn't go through properly. I think my internet was playing up or something!

I think that's a really good sign (for you and not necessarily the person in the hospital, poor thing) and during this time I think it's completely normal for her to be quite distant, as her mind is elsewhere right now.  This actually reminds me of a time when I was dating someone, well, we met up a couple of times for dinner etc and it was going quite well, and my nan was put into hospital due to a car crash. He was texting me, calling me etc and i really just didn't want to talk i wanted my own space. All I cared about at the time was my family and no outsiders, i just wanted time to deal with the situtation and when i was ready i then went back to him. we didn't speak about it much, but he was very caring and ultimatel helped me get over the loss as he kept me occupied etc.

I'd tell her that your always here if she needs someone to speak to or to distract her from the situation, and if she doesn't follow up ans get back to you, I'd text her in a few days time saying that you're thinking of her and that you hope she's ok. This will make her think that you care.

I wouldn't put to much pressure on her now though, but im glad she's being open and honest! That's a good sign, it's now your turn to show her that you genuinely care even in the toughest of times.

Really do hope this message goes through! @Staff can you check to see if it did?