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Author Topic: Third Wheel Situation (PLEASE HELP)

December 14, 2019, 08:46:38 AM
Read 1521 times


Hello Guys.

This is my first time posting over here and I am in dire need of help with this situation. Here's what it is.
I haven fallen for this girl in my team at work. She is really a gem of a person and thats what really makes me love her more and more each day. We walk everyday to the station as she lives in a different city and she travels 3 hours everyday to and fro. I have been indirectly telling her my feelings everyday as to how much I like her a person and how much I love to spend time with her without any time restriction. She does see me as her best friend, We lunch together, Play some games together, and as mentioned above even walk together. I can tell that I am deeply in love with her and I am planning to tell her next year after I am back from vacations. I guess she probably knows it but I dont think she completely realizes it that I have strong feelings for her.

Now the current situation is that there is a guy in my team who happened to study with her in college and he joined the co. a year before me. Basically he is her buddy but however from all the conversations I have had with her and him. They are not into each other and I can tell that by their communication. However since they are buddies, and his nature is a bit cocky and childish. He tends to get a bit physical with her as he goes to her desk. rests his hand on her shoulders. Massage her etc. (all that in a friendly way) and she seems to be completely fine with it. And he always interrupts my conversation with her as he tends to always do this awkward interruption. And that is really bothering me as my anxiety levels are going high each day they interact.

My question is that how do I handle his behavior as he is also my colleague and we tend to work with each other on a day to day basis. I really cant stand him going to her and being physical as she in a way responds back to him since they are college buddies/friends. I am afraid that if she rejects me there is a strong chance he might capitalize on that situation and as much as I am fine with letting her go, I am not at all fine with her being in a relationship with him.

I am really confused as I am stuck between these 2 dire situation.

December 16, 2019, 04:19:11 AM
Reply #1

Captain Black

It sounds to me you have a bit of a jealousy trait going on with this work colleague . You already stated there  there is nothing between the girl that you fancy and this guy so why be bothered about it ? If he really wanted to date her , he would have asked her by now knowing her for that length of time . Its not unusual for close friends of different genders to be a little touchy feely about each other. I have female friends who I usually greet with a kiss and sometimes go for a coffee with them.  My OH is fine about it as they are her friends too and we do have trust within our relationship . So you need to get this jealousy thing out of your head as it will likely to backfire on you should you start dating this girl .

You claim the you "love" this girl . My definition of love is as follows
1) Friendship
2) Trust
3) Intimacy

I can only see were you satisfy no 1 . So I think possibly desire may be a better, description .

If you really desire this girl so much then ask her out but just be careful .I am assuming her that you have had all positive signals from this girl whilst going out for lunch, walks etc.

What I mean here about being careful is ,the asking a work colleague out can be tricky . If she turns your request down you still have to work with her . If the relationship ends at some stage ( most do until you find that right person ) then again this can make things a little awkward.

So just a couple of things to think about but I cant see any obstacles in your way apart from yourself perhaps ?

Good luck
« Last Edit: December 16, 2019, 04:22:04 AM by Captain Black »

December 27, 2019, 08:25:53 AM
Reply #2


I really didn't understand what you are asking. ;D

April 23, 2020, 04:11:32 AM
Reply #3


ladies I found a very interesting course, which helped me to maintain my marriage for many years, the course is called 
,, Make Him Worship You - Women's Relationship Monster ,,
you can find it by accessing the link ; https://bit.ly/2zg0b5x 


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