Hi,
First post here. I would highly value any responses.
My male colleague (44) is someone who would be very easy to develop a crush on. He is smart, humble, kind, and has great character. All things that would suggest he is not the type to develop an interest or flirt with his female colleague as he has been married for quite awhile.
And yet, I am confused by some of his body language and signals towards me. I am not adept at reading social cues, including flirting. It's possible he is just being kind to me, and helping me because he is in a position to do so.
Some examples of things that suggest he does like me, followed by ones that suggest he doesn't.
He asked me to coffee with him after a meeting and we had a wonderful time talking
His tone of voice becomes kind when he talks to me in comparison to others
He is generally a confident seeming person, but often seems nervous around me
Sometimes it seems like he is trying to impress me
He holds a lot of eye contact, and smiles a lot
He is very complimentary of my character, intellect, etc.
He is very busy, but has gone out of his way to give me many hours of his time to help me
He has suggested meeting with me to help me, give me advice, etc.
When we are at the same meetings he always comes over to say hi, and often sits next to me.
At a recent work related social he sat next to me, turned to face me, talked for awhile and lightly tapped my forearm a couple of time while talking to me.
When I was leaving that event, he invited a hug. In the several years I've known him we have always only shaken hands as greetings.
When I have emailed him, or initiated conversation with him, he always responds right away and with enthusiasm and effort in the communication.
A bunch of other little things in body language and mannerisms that could go either way.
Things that suggest he is not interested:
In the years that I've known him he has never said or done anything even remotely suggestive. He has kept our relationship completely professional.
He and I will go months without talking at all.
He brings his wife to our mutual work events
So, I can't figure out if
1) He is just a nice person that is nice, complimentary, and attentive to everyone
2) He thinks highly of me as a person, sees potential and wants to help me excel in my career, but does not have romantic interest
3) Likes me, and is trying to show me that he likes me.
Any votes?
I do not wish to ask him, and make things uncomfortable in our working relationship, if he isn't flirting.
Thank you for any help in feedback!