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Author Topic: Should I give her space or is she trying to cut me off?

September 08, 2019, 11:12:07 AM
Read 814 times


I've been seeing a girl I met online. We've been dating a month. We've met up, talked every day for hours, had sex - done all the stuff you'd expect from dating that's going well. We've both told each other that we really like each other and things seemed to be going well. I actually can see a future with her - I know I've known her a month but we've been quite intense in that month. I'm still waiting another month or so to ask for exclusivity/a relationship as I don't want to rush her into anything.

Anyway, advice required.

As I say, we texted for hours on end in the early days. Quick replies, regular texting and always a reply. Yet over the past week or so, things have dropped off significantly. We've not met (I do know she's been busy tbh) and I've always started the conversations but got either slow replies or no reply at all.

I called her out on this a few days ago. I told her that if I'd done anything wrong or if she was bored of me or if there was anything to say, she needed to tell me. She told me it wasn't to do with me but that she's struggling with her mental health. I've completely understood that and I've told her she can speak to me, that I'm always here for her and always ready to listen to her. That I'll help her through this.

I had a few beers last night and started texting her and she was a lot more responsive: - "I miss you too xxx" - "I am sorry but atm I'm struggling and don't want to drag you in. And I can't commit to talking to you or seeing you and I'm struggling"

I hate even suggesting this because I know mental health is the silent killer and I hate how it inflicts people for no reason. But...is she looking for a way out of things with me? I've told her we'll get through this together and that I'm here for her no matter what. She's afraid of speaking about her problems though and I've reassured her that she can talk to me anytime about anything.

Is she trying to cut me off or should I ride it out?

September 11, 2019, 08:19:38 PM
Reply #1



In my opinion I really do believe that she just needs some space. I know first hand how it feels to suffer from mental health and I believe that if she really wanted to cut you off she wouldn't have told you she had mental health issues in the first place- she would've just not replied to your texts.
I think that if you guys had a month of talking and the feelings were mutual like you said, that just her telling you she's suffering from these mental health issues is her way of opening up to you and letting you know that she is still interested and in actuality doesn't want you to lose interest because she hasn't been feeling her best. She might not be willing to open up about what she's going through 100% yet because a month isn't too long of a time to have known someone for and maybe with more time and patience she will feel more comfortable to confide in you more and go into more details about what she's going through.
I say if you really like her, ride it out and be there for her when she needs it - it means the world to someone when the ones they care about stick around.

September 11, 2019, 11:59:38 PM
Reply #2


I think she needs space, but make sure she knows that you are there for her. If it's possible for you to do, maybe send her something that makes her happy or something that reminds you of her. Give her a reason to smile.


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