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Should I call it quits?

Yes, this is too much
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Author Topic: Should I call it quits?

January 24, 2019, 05:57:04 AM
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Neisha95


So I’ve been dating my boyfriend now since April 2018. We are in a long distance relationship and make it work by visiting each other twice every two weeeks. We are only about 200 miles from each other so not so hard to see each other sometimes more often. He has a daughter from a previous relationship. His ex and him have been broken up now for 2 years. His daughter’s mom is upset that he now has a new gf and even went as far as stalking me and him on social media. Once he set her straight about our relationship and her actions she changed her number and will not allow him to see/talk/visit his daughter. This has really been stressing him out. I can tell because he’s been distant the past few days. Today we talked about it and he told me that he will reach out to her through email and try to compromise with her about seeing his daughter. He is going to make up a story that we broke up and asked me to unfollow him on social media so his story could seem more realistic bc she stalks our social media. He wanted to be transparent with me about the lengths he would go to be able to se their child. He reassured me that he did not want to be with her and loves and wants to be with me. He does plans to get joint custody but this is his temporary fix until court dates gets to rolling. I want to be there for him during such a stressful time in his life because I love him and his daughter but I also feel uneasy about the lies he will tell. Idk what I should do now?? Should we give each other space until everything cools down? He doesn’t wants this but respects my decision. Idk what I should do? Any advice would help!
« Last Edit: January 24, 2019, 06:11:32 AM by Neisha95 »

January 24, 2019, 04:27:16 PM
Reply #1
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SarahLancaster


If it were me personally, I would not lie to anyone about my relationship, nor would I want someone else to lie about it.

Why on earth did he not have all of these custody arrangements made when they split up?  That doesn't sound right.

I would just tell him that you're taking a break from him and his daughter for a while until he can sort out all of the custody arrangements.
"But the rain is full of ghosts tonight, that tap upon the glass and listen for reply."

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

January 24, 2019, 04:38:16 PM
Reply #2
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Neisha95


If it were me personally, I would not lie to anyone about my relationship, nor would I want someone else to lie about it.

Why on earth did he not have all of these custody arrangements made when they split up?  That doesn't sound right.

I would just tell him that you're taking a break from him and his daughter for a while until he can sort out all of the custody arrangements.

They had an informal agreement that he would spend every other weekend with her which has been working for the past 2 years or so. I think her seeing him with another woman and moving on triggered some lingering pain and caused her to sever the relationship between them. I think space is my best option right now as well.

January 24, 2019, 10:32:37 PM
Reply #3
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SarahLancaster


That's exactly why people need to have custody agreements in writing from a court.  Otherwise, the primary custodian can cut off contact on a whim.
"But the rain is full of ghosts tonight, that tap upon the glass and listen for reply."

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

 

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