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Author Topic: Rebound?

February 09, 2020, 11:00:04 AM
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So I am 34 years old, and I have been separated from my wife a year. We are currently getting divorced. Its clearly over there is no going back and this post isn’t about that. We were together 10 years and have a 2.5 years old.
About 5 months ago I got talking to someone at work in a separate department who felt like their relationship wasnt going very well with someone they had been 8 years. She is 27. We from the word go got on very well.

Whilst I think we fancied each other we purely spoke as friends. She wasn’t happy in her relationship as the person she was with made no effort with her. She then went on holiday, and out of the blue he asked her to marry him. She said yes but immediately regretted it and when she got back after 1 week she told him things wasn’t right, moved back in with her mum until they sorted the house they own. He has now bought her out and shes got her own place. Me and the girl were still speaking, but again just as friends.
She then said to me that it was best we didn’t speak for a while as she felt it wasn’t fair and she needed some time just to let things settle. This didn’t last long..

About 4 weeks later she messaged me and we got talking again, a week or so later we met up and literally haven’t looked back since. We are just mad over each other, we get on really well. We have been away with each other, spend time with each other but probably only once or twice a week. She is now buying her own place, and were planning on spending more time together.

I have met her mum, she has met mine, she is evening considering meeting my little boy now (albeit play centre stuff) we are a good few months down the line and also meeting her friends etc.

What some people say is though be careful it isn’t a rebound. This worried me a lot at first, however as time has gone and I know how we feel about each other then I kind of feel this has diminished.

I have spoken to her about this and how we feel and she says I am not a rebound. She says some people meet, even have cross overs and stay together. She tells me I am not a rebound and I guess I have no reason to think that.

I guess I don’t know what im asking her, but I have genuine feelings for her. She is very mature, switched on, and im thinking that despite her been with someone else for 8 years and now meeting me she must think something of me if she’s wanting me to meet her family and friends etc.

Can this work? Is it okay to meet someone else quick after 8 years and we be good?

February 12, 2020, 11:24:50 PM
Reply #1


If you feel like what you two have is genuine, I'd take it slow. I wouldn't move in together so soon. Continue to learn more about each other. I've been in a similar position of hers and i didn't realize it at the time but it was just "for the thrill". He made me feel happy again, sex was great, but I had this undealt-with situation with someone I actually couldn't let go of. I eventually fixed the things with the ex/main guy and although it didn't work out in the long run, I'm glad I finally faced my reality. Best of luck, enjoy the journey this far, but I don't see any reason to not take it slow right now ?


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