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Author Topic: Problems With Relationship and Girlfriends Brother. Please Help Im About Done

July 25, 2019, 12:26:16 AM
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gamestopper18


Thank You for taking the time to read this. I have a big issue going on and need help from the outside looking in. Please keep all responses nice because this is a tough subject and i really care and love my girlfriend. Okay with that aside lets get started. I want to start this by providing details and some actual incidents so yall can help me better... Back in 2011 i started dating this girl and we been togehte ever since besides a 1 year seperation midway through. We love each other very much and care about one another. About a year ago i asked her to marry me so we are engaged, but there has been issues along the way and now it seems like things are coming to a head. im a very passive kind of person that wants to stay out of drama in itself i usually let things go and slide by and try not to worry about it. but there is a major problem in our relationship that i have not been able to get control of even with talking to her. Its her brother. Her and him both have social anxiety and neither of them work. she is 20 im 23 and hes 28. I have worked my tale off since i was 16 working jobs around town and working as a pharmacy tech and have now started my career doing insurance because my mom has owned her own insurance business. Just bringing this up because i want yall to know im very serious about my career and my family aswell. With that being said back to the root of things. So her and her brother are really controlling and dont like it if they dont get their way about thing especially about getting rides to go places but thats the least major thing just trying to set the stage. Her and me always have a great time when we are together going on dates even vacationing together but the big issue is, i started being his friend back when her and me got together. Everythinng was fine the first few years with him but as years went by he started getting jealeous of her and me hanging out. Him and me would hang out aswell but of course me and her are gonna spend more time together. One of the big issues is he gets her to message me for him because he dont have the courage to message me himself other then if things dont go his way and she cant get through to me. which by the way if i say i cant do something cause i got something going on with work or something came up with family and we cant go to park or something then they get fired up and attack me which she puts down what he tells her to. I have warned her and him many times do not talk for each other what me and her talk about is between me and her and whats between him and me is between him and me. There has been countless occasions when this has happened over and over even after many warnings. Going back to him being jealous though. If her and me go on a date or go to the movies or to the park or whatever when he finds out he says "why cant him and me ever do that stuff" Him and me usually hang out and chill when he did use to come over before i slowed that down. He says "Its not fair he takes you places but not me" she told me he does this every time and she admitted she writes for him acting like its her getting upset with me with its mostly him. I told him that their is a differance between a friend and a girlfriend that the girlfriend does get extra special treatment and gets certain benifits thats just how it is that my other friends which i dont have to many its a small town, they dont complain. He said its the same thing and i said NO! there is a big differance im daiting your sister not you. (He also expects me to pay or him like i do for her) remember jobless. He stays burried in his phone and will barely look up from it. I know through her he acts like hes someone else to chat with girls but will never tell them who he really is and wont date its sick!!! But yes they are very controling and im tired of playing them games. Me and her are into right now because of him and not talking to each other because the other day he messaged me something and i was working so couldnt get back to it right then. So she messages me and says why can you message him back and i said case im busy i dont have to message him right back so that started up some junk but the next morning i let it go like usual. everything seemed okay until she said. "He said you havent messaged him yet so please message him" at this poit i am so upset at the fact i HAVE to message him quickly and it wasnt even anything important. So i said i dont have to message him right now i will later and she said why cant you right now. I told her to stay out of it because thats between me and him that its non of her business and she likes to use this alot but she said "yes it is my business because hes my brother" I told her my brothers dont get involved in my personal life and they dont with each other. I told her thats the problem and always has been is you talking for him the big conversatons that hes to scared to message. if you talk to them in person they just shake their heads yes but it never sticks! He ALWAYS says "Im being left out wah wah wah" The other day i was on video chat with her all was fine but i had been sick and i was telling her i cant wait to be better so you and me can go riding motorcycle. i then joked and said lets ride all the way to texas then in the background he was somethat close he said "not without me" i let it slide then i continued to say I cant wait to go to park and to the movies together then he pipes in again and says "Well I guess im just chopped Liver" I was so mad i told her i got to go. i get so tore up im liable to go out there im 6'0 285 pounds and hes a toothpick so im not intimidated by him whatsover i Have never seen him do a single thing other then sit at home all day on phone. he refuses to get help for social anxiety. Sometimes when i would ask her if she wanted to go with me somewhere she would say what about him and i would say no just us and she will say well im not going thats not fair to him. i Swear its terrible!! Ive tried talking to the parents because they act so childesh that was a last resort but they dont do anything they tell them they shouldnt do that but thats as far as it goes. Im very sorry for this very long post but had to vent aswell. I could really use some advice looking in on this i really love her and care about her but him and my friendship as far as i care is done because i have gave hundreds of warnings. When i cut him off though thats when the hornets nest will flare up again. Thank you for reading this and providing any feedback?

 

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