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Author Topic: Pressure to get married. What do I do?

August 28, 2018, 09:22:55 AM
Read 126 times

pressuremind29


For someone being religious, following the commandments given is not difficult anymore. But if the commandment is all about marrying as long as you have found the one is a different story already. In our church, we have an organization called the “young single adults”. We are a group of young individuals who have been called to serve the church and its members. Of course, for a group who have been together for years, love will eventually bloom to each other.

Weeks from now, some of our group members are getting married. Our leaders are telling us to do the same. Now I’m pressured. To be honest, I have a foreign feeling to this girl who’s new to our organization. I really want to court her but she’s so new she might get terrified. What do I do?




August 28, 2018, 09:45:38 AM
Reply #1

Corzhens


Pardon me but that sounds strange when the church is urging the members to get married. Anyway, if you have a feeling for a particular girl then my suggestion is for you to know her better. Be friendly and try to know a common thing between you like her hobby or likes and dislikes. You can start from there and later on you may have a valid reason to visit her in their home and probably invite her to lunch (not dinner yet) together with some common friends. My recommendation is a 6-month getting to know period. Good luck.

August 28, 2018, 09:49:52 AM
Reply #2

Jenniferdainty


Getting married because of the pressure you're receiving from people around you is not a good idea. In marriage, you have to be ready in many aspects because if not, you might regret it in the end. Remember, life is not a race and you will set your own timeline and not others. For the new girl that you're liking, maybe it's better to build friendship with her first. Let her grow spiritually in your religious community and you could also guide her with that.

August 28, 2018, 10:31:29 AM
Reply #3

Martinsx


I think that this issue is very common in every society as along as one comes of age especially the female ones, their mothers are the architect behind the pressure for them to get married as soon as possible.

This is not a good thing to do because most times, the children are pushed into making the wrong decision and eventually end up getting married to who they are not supposed to marry which ruins the marriage in no distant time.

The advise I'm going to offer to you here is that you should have it in mind that you are the one getting married and not the person putting pressure on you. So, stand your ground and say no if you know you are not yet ready or better still leave the house and stay away from their eyes.

August 28, 2018, 08:59:42 PM
Reply #4

Rita101


If they push you into getting married to who you don't love, when things starts going wrong, it's only you that will be left in the marriage alone. So, my advice for you is to not give into the pressure of getting married when you are not ready to settle down until you have all the conviction that it's the right time for you to get married.

August 29, 2018, 11:30:52 AM
Reply #5

pressuremind29


If they push you into getting married to who you don't love, when things starts going wrong, it's only you that will be left in the marriage alone. So, my advice for you is to not give into the pressure of getting married when you are not ready to settle down until you have all the conviction that it's the right time for you to get married.

Hi, that is my point too. Thank you for pointing it out and thank you for this advice. I have always known that marriage shouldn't be hurried. But they believe otherwise. Anyway, thanks!

August 29, 2018, 11:35:49 AM
Reply #6

pressuremind29


I think that this issue is very common in every society as along as one comes of age especially the female ones, their mothers are the architect behind the pressure for them to get married as soon as possible.

This is not a good thing to do because most times, the children are pushed into making the wrong decision and eventually end up getting married to who they are not supposed to marry which ruins the marriage in no distant time.

The advise I'm going to offer to you here is that you should have it in mind that you are the one getting married and not the person putting pressure on you. So, stand your ground and say no if you know you are not yet ready or better still leave the house and stay away from their eyes.

Hi! You have a point there! Thank you for telling me this. This helps a lot.

August 29, 2018, 12:45:17 PM
Reply #7

pressuremind29


Getting married because of the pressure you're receiving from people around you is not a good idea. In marriage, you have to be ready in many aspects because if not, you might regret it in the end. Remember, life is not a race and you will set your own timeline and not others. For the new girl that you're liking, maybe it's better to build friendship with her first. Let her grow spiritually in your religious community and you could also guide her with that.

Hi! thank you so much for this advice! I will remember everything you said.

August 29, 2018, 12:46:55 PM
Reply #8

pressuremind29


Pardon me but that sounds strange when the church is urging the members to get married. Anyway, if you have a feeling for a particular girl then my suggestion is for you to know her better. Be friendly and try to know a common thing between you like her hobby or likes and dislikes. You can start from there and later on you may have a valid reason to visit her in their home and probably invite her to lunch (not dinner yet) together with some common friends. My recommendation is a 6-month getting to know period. Good luck.

I will do this and hopefully I will be able to get to know her more. Thanks for the advice!

 

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