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Author Topic: Not Sure Whether to Stay or Go?

September 23, 2019, 01:23:13 AM
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Happygal2019


I met this person about a month and a half ago at a bar. He’s in the military so he’s only here for training for another month and a half and then he’s going back to his original station across the country. I’ve been having a mental war with myself over this situation so maybe someone can help me.

We have a ton of chemistry in person -we have great conversations, the same sense of humor, I feel extremely comfortable being myself around him and the sex is unbelievable. He’s passionate, caring, thoughtful, respectful, everything a woman can ask for in a man. BUT when we’re not together, he’s terrible at responding or keeping a conversation. I’m assuming that’s because he’s leaving soon and probably not looking for anything serious.

I am starting to get attached so I feel like breaking things off right now would make it much easier for me in the long run. I just can’t bring myself to do it. There’s also that slight chance that maybe if I keep going with the flow, we can find a way to make it work. I don’t even really know how he feels about me but I feel like I can’t ask. I’ve known since I met him he was leaving and that’s all I SHOULD need to know where he stands but maybe that’s changed for him? I don’t know, please help! 😩 Should I rip off the bandaid now so it’s easier or should I wait and see what happens, potentially allowing myself to get more hurt in the future?

September 23, 2019, 02:26:05 PM
Reply #1
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Onyria


Hi :)

I'm kinda living a similar situation, except that he told me my feelings weren't shared. That isn't the case for me (but it's more complex than that), but maybe if you ask him what he feels it would help you to make a decision, don't you think so ?

It's "funny", cause in my situation, i felt the opposite when i knew he was certainly going to leave for a far away country, I felt like it would be the better way to enjoy the few i get (but as i said, my situation is different). I mean, if time is running out, you maybe should enjoy before there's nothing left... but i can copy it's very tragic  :'(

That kind of questions are so hard to answer, cause it's about what you're able and ready to bet. I'm stupborn so I always bet everything. But I might suffer very much. I'll pay the price, and I actually already do. But at least, I'll die with no regrets, only few remorses and some very beautiful memories at the end. I'd be you I would try, cause if we don't try we'll never know. But I'm not you, i just give my opinion.

What could help you, would be maybe to write down advantages and disadvantages of any of this both choices and help you  with scales. Like "if i leave now, how i'll be hurted ?", "if i stay with him for those last moments, how i'll be happy to live those moments ?" and "If i stay with him and he left without the relationship to go on, how i'll be hurted ?"... guess i could help if you're a quite pragmatic person.

In any case, take care and never stop believing in future, i'm sure at the end it will be fine :)

 

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