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Author Topic: Need help with my situation

August 20, 2019, 07:56:40 AM
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BusyBee91


Hello everyone :)

I was wondering if anyone could help me on my situation please.

A guy and I started talking on OKCupid (dating site) and we immediately clicked. To cut a long story short, we spoke every single day (this was over two months ago) - we would talk routinely, from the time we got up in the morning to the time we went to bed. We became more or less like 'best friends'.

We have only met up twice in the time we've known each other - both times have been lovely. However, it's such a bizarre situation because while we approached the situation as close friends, I always had it in the back of my mind that he could be a potential partner. This was confirmed for me when we finally met in real life, as I really liked him.
However, the last time we met, we planned to watch films together at his house. I tried to initiate physical contact, but he didn't seem comfortable with it. This upset me a lot, and it was only when I showed I was upset that he actually cuddled me (nothing sexual happened).

I then asked him if we were on the same page, and he said he only sees us as friends. I said I saw it potentially as a relationship, and he said he was flattered - and then just carried on acting normal like nothing had happened.

Essentially, we act like a couple but without the physical/sexual aspects. Even though I showed quite clearly I was upset, he still said he wanted to meet up again and do something. Bear in mind this is long distance - we live around two hours from each other.

I feel so devastated and terrible right now. Because I like him a lot as a friend and have spoken to him every day, it would hurt immensely to cut ties. We share similar interests, we get on really well and have a laugh, have inside jokes, help each other, etc. He still wants to meet up and carry on as normal.

I don't establish close connections with people easily so I'm feeling like I really don't want to lose him.

I just feel so low at the moment (we aren't currently speaking as I said I needed space) as I don't know whether to risk feelings getting hurt by continuing meet-ups, or risk losing a good friend. It feels like a lose-lose situation. I feel so depressed.

Any advice? Thank you :)

 

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