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Author Topic: My Significant Other Is Best Friends With Their Ex

April 01, 2019, 07:52:03 PM
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pdhcast


How would you react if someone you were dating or engaged to was still EXTREMELY CLOSE to their ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, or ex-husband/ex-wife? How would you feel if they hung out without you, they were constantly in each other's lives, cuddled on the couch together but they were just best friends? My fiance says that her ex is her best friend in the whole world, they are constantly calling each other and giggling to one another, she tells him about our relationship and she also wants him to help plan on our wedding. Im not necesarilly threatened but I want to know if other people are close with their ex in the same way and how to deal with this?

June 26, 2019, 09:56:13 PM
Reply #1
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millylovehim


I think that is pretty weird. Sure, maybe if they had to co-parent and be on good terms that is one thing. Maybe keep up a more "professional" relationship. Though the cuddling on the couch, calling, etc. That's all a little weird.

Unless he is gay... if he is gay, not weird at all. If anything they probably actually are best friends.

June 27, 2019, 08:19:14 PM
Reply #2
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Brent


My ex and I started out close as friends , then met a women who nipped it in the ass and she brought up good points.
When I stopped the relationship w ex she turned into the devil turned my daughter against me and said terrible things to this wen I was with. If children are involved sure certain amount of communication but need to draw a line . Only laughs and cuddling should be done
By u and significant other I made the mistake of not throwing away pics and memories in boxes in my garbage and now this women is leaving me Caused a lot of issues because I didn’t get rid of stuff when I should of

September 20, 2019, 12:15:01 PM
Reply #3
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Confused giraffe


I'm still really close friends with my ex but we were close friends before we dated.
When we're both single we spend a ton of time together and are normally each other's shoulder to cry on during bad times in relationships or break ups. When single we will be known to cuddle up on the sofa watching a film or something but when one of us is in a relationship ,that doesn't happen out of respect for our partners.
I had only been with my current partner for 8 months and I went out for a birthday meal, my ex was there, with his ex wife (she's a good friend of mine too hahaha) and both their kids, along with my current partner,his kid and a couple of friends. My partner was completely understanding that this guy is just a really close friend and nothing more
I am more than happy for him to be friends with an ex but I wouldn't be happy if they were cuddling on the sofa. That's a bit too "intimate"

September 20, 2019, 12:20:09 PM
Reply #4
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Confused giraffe


Sorry . I missed off how to deal with it.
Personally, depending on how good your communication is, I would sit down with my partner and explain that I'm more than happy for them to be friends but I see the cuddling on the sofa as something that is intimate ,even if they don't think it is  .
Find away to put across that even though this isn't how it may be, but this is how it feels /makes you feel.
If your partner is understanding,they should take your feelings in to account and not dismiss them for jealousy,even if it is jealousy,those cuddles are for partners . . . Hope this helps.

When I told my partner I was actually a bit jealous about something,even though it's something I didn't need to be jealous of, I said to him. I know there's nothing there but this is how I feel. I don't know why I feel like this but, I just wanted you to know it's how I'm feeling about that situation.
He understood where I was coming from and with in minutes we were making jokes about it.
Talking and listening ,mostly listening ,are the hardest parts of a relationship ,but they are the things that hold it together!

September 22, 2019, 07:53:22 PM
Reply #5
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Squirrely_Dame


I am as well. We dated for a period, even had sex, eventually realized there was no real spark, and that was that. We are in each other's lives every day. However, I have zero desire for sex and I don't think he does either. I would absolutely never want to live with him or spend my life as his "partner". If she wanted to be with him, why would she be with you? I mean, sociopaths do exist but she would be exhibiting many more signs than that.

December 06, 2019, 07:53:27 AM
Reply #6
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kingprawn


No I would not be happy with this and would deem it as abnormal behaviour.

December 08, 2019, 03:17:58 PM
Reply #7
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Luana


I can see why it upsets you. I believe you should set boundaries, talk to your gf about it and say that physical contact is just not acceptable for you.
 He is ex for an reason, so try not to make too big deal out of it. If she wanted to be with him, she could be, right? But she is not, she is with you. She got engaged to you, she comes home to you every night, not him. Keep that in mind, she is eventually choosing you, not him.

 

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