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Author Topic: My oldest friend doesn't think my boyfriend is attractive/good enough for me

January 14, 2020, 10:35:36 AM
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123london987


So here is the back story

I started dating my current boyfriend 4 months ago (who is quite a few years older than me) whilst we were working abroad. When I came back I told my friend and she couldn't believe I was dating him and said he isn't good looking enough and I am out of his league. For a while now it has upset me how shallow and judgemental she has become but we've been friends for 20 years.

I stopped talking to her for a couple of months as she hurt he guy I care about and I felt disrespected. He knew I was in an argument with her and kept wanting to know why, I wouldn't say. Recently he saw me texting her (not the actual conversation) and said why do I have such immature arguments and made me feel quite small. In the heat of the moment I said 'over you!'.. once I said this I couldn't back down and not give the reason so now I have told him why. It has created an awkward feeling and I keep reassuring him I find him attractive so it is okay.

I texted friend and we have decided to meet and speak about this issue(as well as other things wrong in our friendship). BF is now telling me he feels hurt I want to see her and make up and he wishes I would be on his team.

Should I give up my 20 year friendship for my 4month relationship or try keep both at bay? I don't want to pick a team and am angry at friend but don't want to feel like I am forced to never make up with her. I know this is my fault for telling him the reason why we are arguing in first place.

January 19, 2020, 09:43:01 AM
Reply #1
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Warrior1982


I’m sorry your friend is being like this, I don’t think your friend should worry what he looks like aslong as you’re happy & he treats you well?  I’d much rather have an average looking guy who treated me well than a good looking guy who didn’t care for me :)

Hope that helps?x

February 14, 2020, 03:01:51 PM
Reply #2
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Lch1126


It shouldn’t matter what your friend thinks about your partners looks. Everyone has different tastes and the only important thing is that you find him attractive and are happy with him! A true friend wouldn’t make you feel that way and would keep unkind opinions to themselves!

February 21, 2020, 10:33:18 AM
Reply #3
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GinjaNinja


Hopefully you don't have to give up either! Personally, I think your friend is in the wrong because it's not her place to tell you who is and who isn't good enough for you cause that's your relationship. I completely understand the dilemma of it being a long time friend, though. If you truly like the guy and wish for it to continue, I would say go with that. You need to prioritize your own happiness and goals before you worry about anything else. You owe yourself that much. Hopefully your friend understands that and you guys can keep your friendship going.

Friendships come and go throughout life. If she is willing to stop talking to you because she thinks she knows whats best for your love life, then I say move on from that relationship because that doesn't sound healthy to me. I doubt it'll be easy, but once again, you have to worry about what you want and need before anybody else.

I hope this helps. :-)
Having something to lose is what makes life worth living

 

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