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Author Topic: My husband wants a break

May 20, 2019, 07:42:35 AM
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In February I was diagnosed with breast cancer. After finding out my husband was there for me, going to every doctors appointment with me and pretty much being my main caregiver now that I am in the middle of chemo.

Last Monday my husband suddenly approach me saying that “we need to have a talk”. When I asked him what it’s about he says his feelings for me changed since I got cancer. He told me he doesn’t want to come home from work sometimes because he is afraid he is going to find me dead.

He also said he feels frustrated because we haven’t been having sex since I started chemo and that he has been talking to a girl that he is thinking about dating her.

After hearing this I decided to finish the remainder of my treatments at my moms and give him his break since I’m so sick from the chemo and have no energy to try to hold on to him.

Will we be able to get back together? I don’t even know how long the break is for and just been crying constantly because I was abandoned when I was counting on his support.

June 22, 2019, 04:08:25 PM
Reply #1


I am so sorry you're having to deal with his bs while also going through such a difficult time with your health.  I think he is such a jerk for doing this to you, especially now!   You can't control what he does, so you don't really have any options but to just hold on and focus on your health as much as possible.  You are at a weak moment right now but it is temporary.  Just set your sights on getting yourself healthy again so that you can work on the marriage afterwards.  He is most likely just under a lot of stress and he doesn't know how to deal with it.  Not making excuses for him, however.  I think he should go to counseling or support group specifically for spouses going through the same situation.   It would help him cope with his issues in a healthy way.   After you get well,  you'll have the energy to work things through with your husband.  I hope he gets help because him dealing with his issues his way is not going to help him...it is just a distraction.  Best of luck to you my dear. 

June 30, 2019, 04:37:43 AM
Reply #2


Through sickness through health doesn't mean much to people these days.

I'm sorry you have to deal with so much
 I hope that he attends support meetings for those who are supporting cancer patients, it might do him so good, give him an avenue to voice his feelings without judgment.

July 10, 2019, 02:59:47 PM
Reply #3


I'm a local therapist and I have heard many stories like this and I've experienced it myself. It can be quite hard but you will get through this.
I will show you a video that really helped me here : https://dausel.co/wMsnlY
Last year I was stuck in the same way and this really helped me a lot.
Hope things get better.


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