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Author Topic: My FWB is acting really strange

November 12, 2019, 07:24:33 PM
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echolalia


About 8 months ago, I started talking to this guy on Tinder. After about a week of talking we decided to meet up and we ended up having sex. After the first date we kept talking and I asked him about a week later if he wanted to meet up again and he agreed to grab some lunch. We kept texting and a few days after the lunch he told me that he wasn't looking for something serious and that we should break it off if I wanted a relationship. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and told him that I wasn’t up for anything serious either but the sex we had was great and it would be sad to not have it again. He agreed and thus we started an FWB-relationship.

So we kept texting and hooking up for about a month, then we started to hang out without having sex. We became really good friends and started to hang out more and more (mostly having a beer at a bar in the evening). Sex eventually became a secondary thing for us. This was really strange for me because I never really saw my previous FWBs outside of the bedroom.

I think we are super compatible and we get along really well. We work in the same field and have very similar interests, both in life in general but also in smaller things like fashion sense and music. He and I are really good for each other, and we've even discussed this a few times.

About two months ago he started to act really weird, he'd randomly ask me in the middle of the day if I wanted to meet up and just go for a walk. One time he asked me if I wanted to sit in a park and just read a book. We are both artists and eventually he started talking about doing an art project together, which we eventually did and we had a lot of fun working together. He started to become very touchy like rubbing his foot against my leg while we sat next to each other and stroking my knee in public. He's become super flirty while we text even though we both made it clear in the beginning of our FWB-relationship that we weren't gonna flirt or do anything remotely romantic in public.

Last week we went out to a nightclub together and when we went outside for some air he kissed me, which we only do during foreplay and definitely NOT something we do in public. The same night I went to his apartment where we ended up cuddling and talking about life and random things for hours before falling asleep (and we didn't even have sex). We did have sex the next morning so I thought the whole night before was his way of seducing me. But after being intimate that morning he really tried to keep me with him for as long as he could, he even followed me to the bus station and took the same bus as me to where he was going even though that route would take about 30 minutes longer, just so he could be with me for a bit longer. I got sick this week and he came over to hand me a shirt I had forgotten at his place and it turned out he had made me some soup for my sickness. He asked for a glass of water and ended up staying for two hours where we just sat and talked.

It feels like he really wants to spend as much time as he possibly can with me. My friends has told me that he obviously has feelings for me, but he's not really talking about our relationship or anything? I think he's too scared to talk about feelings which sucks because I really like him and wouldn't mind giving a relationship a shot. But sometimes he just ignores me when I text him, which honestly makes me feel like shit. He tends to act like he doesn’t care about anything but is also superinvested in what I am up to during the week etc. Sometimes I ask him if he wants to hang out and he'd say something along the line of "of course! however, I'm super busy this week so I don't know when exactly, but we could try for like next week or something?” and like two days later he'd call me and ask me if I want to grab a coffee and just talk and hang out.

I'd think he just wants to sleep with me if it weren't for everything he's done that hasn't led to us having hooking up, because 80% of what we do together is not sex. Are we in like an unofficial relationship or what are we? Does he like me...? Then why hasn't he made any attempts to actually talk about our relationship? I'm fine with just being FWBs but he's not acting like he just wants sex, he obviously wants something more. I feel like I should make a move but I'm too scared that he'd panic and back off, and I really don't want to lose him in my life right now. I have kinda fallen for him and I feel like I would be too hurt if I lost him.

What should I do? Does he actually like me or am I just flattering myself?


EDIT:’Oh and he tends to get a bit jealous when I talk about other guys. Once I told him that I slept over at a guy friend's house (we are super platonic and nothing happened) when I was visiting my college friends in another city and he got super upset and asked if my friend was acting sketchy and if we slept in the same bed, which was a bit weird.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2019, 09:15:51 PM by echolalia »

November 25, 2019, 11:35:46 AM
Reply #1
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spiky


Hey
It sounds like he is very much into you.
What makes a relationship a romantic relationship? or what makes FWB into a romantic relationship?
I assume you are not exclusive but then he gets jealous.
He is keeping a tab on you.
He shows you affection in public.
He wants to spend time with you.

Life is dynamic, what we want at first or what we agreed on may change.
Sounds like it changed for both of you but you're not communicating with each other.
Have an honest and open talk, sounds like you could be amazing as a couple, don't throw it away.

Please keep us updated :)

 

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