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Author Topic: My boyfriend’s best friend keeps giving him grief about our relationship

January 15, 2020, 07:05:13 AM
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bluemeanybeany


My boyfriend’s best friend keeps giving him grief about our relationship. What should I do?

I (30F) have been in a relationship with my bf (31M) for just under a year. It’s going really well; we love each other and are serious about our future together.

His best friend (31M) has been acting strangely from the start. Even before he met me, he responded to my bf happy texts about the new relationship by saying my bf was ‘lacking compassion’ for being happy and talking about being happy when others were not.

He said ( when we were six weeks into relationship) that my boyfriend was ‘only in love with me because it was ‘helping his ego’ and therefore he should break up with me ( at this point in time, the best friend had never even met me.)

After meeting me ( once and for only about four hours), he phoned my bf the next day to say, whilst I was ‘lovely and everything’, I was also ‘not emotionally deep enough for my bf’, therefore the relationship was doomed to fail… therefore he should break up with me…

After this, I said to my boyfriend that I didn’t really want any more to do with his best friend than was necessary… but I was happy for my bf to carry on with the friendship as normal. I also asked my boyfriend to make it clear to best friend that he had no business commenting on a relationship/ offering advice when it hadn’t been asked for.

My boyfriend did this… however, nearly a year in, the best friend still keeps bringing our relationship up on a periodic basis and telling my bf that it is only (and this is a direct quote) ‘an egoic love that won’t last’. He keeps going on about it and giving my boyfriend grief. He doesn’t seem happy that my boyfriend is making his own choice and decision.
It’s so strange! I don’t understand the best friend’s reaction at all. I quite a low maintenance date; I’ve not stopped my boyfriend doing all the things he used to do with the best friend; all our other friends and family think we’re good together (on both sides). I don’t think it’s even me the best friend has a problem with to some extent, as he has only met me once.

My boyfriend says he will always hear the best friend out, even if he violently disagrees with him; which I appreciate given their friendship, but at the same time... it's really causing my boyfriend grief which he doesn't need.

I’m not sure how best to handle the situation. Should I put my foot down and ask my boyfriend to stand up for our relationship and take an even stronger ‘you’re not allowed to comment’ line? Or should I just ignore the situation ( part of me feels it’s the best friend trying to provoke my bf into a fight for some reason)?
« Last Edit: January 15, 2020, 07:09:44 AM by bluemeanybeany »

 

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