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Author Topic: My boyfriend took photos of us having sex without my consent

March 20, 2019, 07:03:44 AM
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nikitadragher


Ok, so, this may take a while. My boyfriend and I are both 16 years old and having been dating for almost 6 months now. We both lost our virginity to one another and love each other very much. Just a few days ago now, I was at his house and we were just messing around and one thing lead to another and we were having sex in his room when I hear his phone go off taking photos. At this point I immediately stopped in shock that he would ever do something like that. I never gave him permission, nor did he ever ask me if it was ok. He wasn't expecting me to find out that he had ever taken the photos but he forgot to turn his phone onto silent so I could hear the photos being taken. I made him delete the photos straight away (which he did) and asked him why he did it. He kept saying that he "doesn't know why he took them" and continued to cry for almost an hour afterwards saying how dumb it was of him to do it. It takes me a while to trust people and feel comftorable around someone which is something he is very aware of and I feel like he didn't respect me at all and broke that trust. I felt violated and sick to my stomach that he would ever do something like that as he is usually such a caring and nice person. I don't know what to do now though. I care about him so much and don't want to lose him but after this my views on him as a person have changed so much. I want to rebuild that trust that we once had and just go back the way it used to be but I don't know if I can.
I'm looking for advice on what to do next. Is it too late to forgive? Should I break up with him for what he did even though I love him so much? I was going to wait and see what he does over this next week to prove to me that he is going to change and regain that trust but so far it has not been very promising. I'm supposed to be seeing him tomorrow but I am so scared it will be awkward and uncomftorble after all of this. I'm worried we will never be able to repair what we once had which is heartbreaking.
Please, any help that you can offer me would be greatly appreciated as I am so confused on what I should do. Thank you :)

March 22, 2019, 04:07:21 AM
Reply #1
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Troubled Soul


First and far most, go retrieve your photographs first, or at least delete them from the records.  This is very dangerous act, and you cannot equate love and trust in this manner.

March 25, 2019, 03:24:19 PM
Reply #2
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Keira05


That was unacceptable. But honestly once trust is broken, even if he did put back the pieces together you can still see cracks. first thing to do is forgive the person because we all make mistakes sometimes and every person is entitled to second chances only so no next time okay. He should be patient with you now and more understanding with your emotions that changed when he did that one mistake. He should be the one who needs to work more on earning that trust back and you also need to see the steps he will do or take to get it back. trust your instincts and love yourself more.

April 02, 2019, 10:36:04 PM
Reply #3
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flyingflower


Do whatever it is you need to do to get those pictures. You never know what he may decide to do with them. Even if he keeps them and does nothing with them soon, you cant be sure he wont keep them and do something with them later.

April 03, 2019, 11:54:59 AM
Reply #4
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missbehavin


Before I say anything else, I just want to say I am so sorry this happened to you. To be as young as you are and to have this happen with the person you just lost your virginity to... you are making yourself vulnerable enough just losing your virginity, it’s absolutely unacceptable for your significant other to take advantage of your vulnerability and violate your trust in such a way. I know at 16 years old this relationship feels like EVERYTHING but trust me, recognize the red flags and look at the bigger picture! Anyone who can do that to you doesn’t have your best interest at heart, in my opinion. The fact that he wasn’t even planning on telling you and the only reason you realized what he was doing is because he forgot to turn his phone on silent or whatever, shows that he is willing to be sneaky and dishonest with you. If I were you, I would end things with this guy and I would think of this as something you’re grateful for. Grateful things happened the way they did where you were able to make sure those photos got deleted and grateful this happened fairly early on so you don’t waste your precious youth with this guy!

 

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