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Author Topic: Long distance friend/crush

May 23, 2019, 08:07:05 PM
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kira.hasumii


I play a virtual online game called second life (yes people still play this lol). A month ago I met a guy on there and we connected instantly. The First time we talked on SL we exchanged skype names so that we could voice with each other privately instead in world. Our first phone call lasted 15hrs and i really mean that, we were literally on the phone until the sun came up and went to sleep in the morning. We are on 2 different time zones i'm Los Angeles and he is in New York.

A little after a week of these 10+ hour phone calls i started school and was going back to work and with us being in different time zones it became a little harder for us to talk like we use to, but we were still talking to each every night. in every convo, whenever i had to go he would get sad and didnt want me to go and i didnt want the call to end either but i have real life going on. This past week conversation has slowed between us and we actually haven't talked via phone since Friday.

Earlier this week I asked him if everything was okay and if he wanted to skype and he said yes and that he missed me, but when i called i got no answer and no message from him the next day. I am now questioning it because its been a week of us not talking. He said that he's just been busy but i see him online and now when i message him he just reads them and doesn't respond.

before all that he had a conversation with my bestfriend on SL, and i didnt know until he told me about it when we last talked. Basically my bestfriend asked him if we're dating and liked each other (they already met each other and he knows she is my bestfriend in real life) my bestfriend was just curious because i was in a 5 year relationship that broke me and drove me into depression and she hasnt seen me talk to someone so consistently since then and its been 2 years since that break up.

Honestly when i first started talking to him i didnt even expect things to last this long, i thought he was cool and that he would just be another one of those second life guys i'd talk to once or twice then he'd just disappear. in the beginning he was always calling, always messaging me, always wanted to talk and now nothing.

Just yesterday i sent him a message explaining how i felt and that i didnt expect anything and that it's okay if he didnt feel the same way i did, and he just read it with no response. I dont want to message him again because, i dont want him to feel pressured or think i'm crazy and i told him that i would just let him be and i hoped everything was okay. i just don't know what to do. part or me thinks he's talking to someone else and another part of me that actually know him thinks he's hurt or mad at our lack of communication. another part of me says to keep trying. HELP??

September 13, 2019, 11:11:18 PM
Reply #1
Offline

Aboubakr


Here are some points that helped me in my long distance relationship, they could do the same to yours:

1- Have both in mind the date when you’re going to get back together:
Knowing when you’re going to meet again and what you’re going to do brings more seriousness and responsibility thereby more commitment to your relation making it possible to last for a long time.
What you will need to do is remind your partner of what you’re looking forward to and try to make some plans together for the future, like a trip or a business you were so eager to start, buying reservations in this case would be a good idea.
The point here is to talk about to the future days that are waiting for you since this will make you LDR more bearable and enjoyable.

2- Use text chatting as much as possible:
If it’s distance that’s separating you physically, don’t let it isolate you even more by forgetting completely to talk to each other since this is how relationships start to fade away, love can be expressed through text in many ways, just the action of speaking to each other constantly bears some love on it.
You should show care for the other person using text and they shall too, talk about every aspect of life as if the person was with you to keep the relationship active and to remind your partner that you still exist in his life and he still exists in yours.

3- Always share what you don’t like in the relationship:
If you don’t like the point where your relationship is heading to and would like things to go differently don’t let it inside of you to use it as a means to confirm that your relation must come to an end or to think that you’re partner is cheating on you.
the right thing to do when you’re upset about something is to discuss it with your partner since it will be easier to find a solution together and this can empower even more the feeling of love you have toward each other.
You must remember that thinking positively can help sometimes so avoid imagining some weird scenarios and instead talk to find out the real cause of the problems and come up with solution.

4- Send physical items:
Sending physical items to your partner will make him remember you all the time, especially if it’s something he uses frequently, but you can still send to him whatever comes to your mind since it will show him that you’re still in love and he matters to you, he should feel the same and send you an item in return.
A good practice is to use letters when you’re in a LDR, this may sound weird in the first place but it really works and helps maintain your relationship vivid and strong. Physical items have a strong impact on the mind of people and show real care and love to other people.

5- Do things together if you share the same hobbies:
Another hack that can make an LDR work is the one of doing things together even if the distance is separating you, so if you share the same hobbies with your partner try to do the same things it could be reading the same books, watching the same TV shows, exercising, or having the same diet.
Try to have common activities together since this will increase the likelihood of remembering each other more and having a strong presence in the mind of each other, another positive point about this practice is that it helps avoid boring discussions and relieves the negative effects time and distance away from him can have on your mind.

6- Use video chats frequently:
Today you have the opportunity to see his face and hear his voice, so why won’t you do it as much as possible, you can take advantage of the video chat to express things you cannot express using text, or to show him things you cannot show using text and he shall do that in return.
This practice would remind each other that you’re still in love and are still together even though distance is separating you, so make him more present in your life and he will in return. Seeing each other’s faces and having a look at each other’s lives shows real care and love.

7- Set goals together and support each other constantly:
This point is much like the point number 5 but it’s more about serious things than hobbies, try to talk regularly about goals, objectives, things each one of you is planning to do and support each other by finding solutions to problems or coming up with ideas that could help.
Setting life resolutions together and speaking about them frequently is also a way to avoid silly and boring discussions that you hate have with your partner, chances are he hates them too. I’m not talking here about overdoing this but try to bring more seriousness to your relationship from time to time.
Who would not stay with someone that encourages them and make their life go forward and be better? the obvious answer is no one so keep this last point in mind as it will contribute to successful and fruitful long distance relationships.
Hello I'm interested in sharing and getting advice in the world of relationships, I'm ready to share all the things I learned along my experience and would like also to learn new things about relationships.

 

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