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Author Topic: Long distance dilemma

June 21, 2020, 12:14:46 PM
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CautiouslyOptimistic


Bear with me here as I try to sort this out. 2012 I met a seemingly great guy, we married had 2 babies everything moved super fast all the while his demeanor drastically changed. Turns out he had secret meth addiction. Very long story short, we tried to get him to a better place for about 6 months but to no avail, the final straw was caught him on married but dating sites. We had a pretty quick divorce. Fast forward 2 years he seemed to be doing better and it had been a very long time since I had “been” with anyone and well one time when he was visiting kids we got carried away. Then we quickly moved to a spot of “dating” but I know in my heart of hearts that I never want to remarry this man. There are things that truly bother me about him, he can be very negative and judgmental it’s draining. But he is my kids dad and they adore him. Since we got back together almost 3 years ago he has been working out of state most of the time even though he can get a job in our city just the pay isn’t quite as good. I have repeatedly expressed how he’s literally missing the best years with the kids for “money” I almost at times feel like he prefers the non-hands on approach to parenthood and the relationship it’s easier than dealing with us daily. However the financial support beyond standard child support has been greatly helpful, we were literally receiving handouts before when we divorced. However my career seems to finally getting more stable. So now here’s where my true dilemma comes into play...I met a neighbor in the community who I hired to help with projects around my house. This neighbor doesn’t even know about ex-husband because I don’t advertise we’re together, and we only see him maybe 3 to 4 times a year For a weekend and of course nightly FaceTime calls. Anyhow the more time I have spent with neighbor there are many qualities that I adore that ex-husband doesn’t possess. And as much as I tried to fight it we ended up getting carried away. And now I just can’t stop. I don’t know if it’s a long term possibility but right now I enjoy having an emotional and actual physical connection with somebody. He is strong has a good moral fiber and is amazing with the kids, not stern crazy authoritarian my ex husband is.  But I of course feel awful about being a cheater now, something I said I would never do.  I’m honestly not sure what to do about either.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2020, 12:18:12 PM by CautiouslyOptimistic »

 

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