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Author Topic: Is my husband lying to me (again!) and using dating sites

July 23, 2019, 07:17:07 AM
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I need some advice on whether i'm being unreasonable or whether my husband is lying to me. Please be brutally honest!

A couple of years ago I was watching TV on my husbands ipad and I came across a sex chat site open up in his browser. This led me to look further and I found that he had been accessing porn (which I have no problem with) but some of this was gay porn.  And as well as the sex chat sites he had been accessing a dating site. I asked him about this and he admitted the porn but completely denied the dating or sex chat sites, saying that they were probably pop ups. I was unsure about this but I chose to believe him.

About a year after that we were looking through his emails together for an email that he had received. I took his phone from him and looked in his deleted items folder in case he had erased it. There were only 2 emails in the deleted folder, both recent, both read, and both from the dating site that had been on his ipad previously containing his 'matches'. I asked him why he was getting emails from a dating site, why he was being matched with other women, and why he was reading then erasing them. He said he accidentally opened them then erased them in case I saw that they had been opened and got upset. He said that he had a profile with this site prior to us getting together 8 years ago, and he can't work out how to close it.

6 weeks ago I again found dating sites and sex chat sites on his ipad. This time the profile of a woman that he had been 'matched' with on the same dating site as previously was an open page in his history, as well as his own profile. There were also open pages of online sex chat sites. He again said that he has absolutely no idea how this could have happened, maybe he accidentally clicked on one of the dating site emails again and it just automatically opened up this woman's profile? And maybe the sex chat sites were again pop ups from watching porn. He said that he would erase all of the pop ups and close off the dating sites, and not look at porn for a while, that way nothing could pop up. He suggested that I should look at his ipad whenever I want, because now he has done all of that it would be absolutely impossible for anything else dodgy to appear in his history. He said that if I found anything in the future it would prove that he is looking at things that he shouldn't be, but if I don't it will prove that it was all just pop ups and a huge mistake.

This week he was in the room next to me with a friend and his ipad. I heard them both laugh, then his friend call him a dirty old man. 5 minutes later he came in to me and I asked him what the comment was about. He said that he has no idea what i'm talking about and he doesn't remember that being said. I later looked at his ipad (and yes this time it was for the sole purpose of seeing if there was anything on there, the first time I have done that!) All of his history had been erased. I asked him why and he said he erased everything 6 weeks ago after the last things that I found on there and has not used the internet on it since. He didn't realise that you can check phone browsing history on the ipad though, and once again there were 2 pages relating to online dating on his phone history. One which was the same dating site as previously, and one which was a site explaining how to find love in your local area. Ive asked him about this and he has hit the roof, telling me that i'm being out of order. He said that both of these sites have obviously opened as a result of him accidentally opening emails (again) so I showed him that when you open an email it doesn't open a web page, you have to actively click on a link to get there. He is offering no explanation at all and just keeps telling me i'm wrong not to believe him and if there is no trust I may as well leave.

Am I being extremely gullible even trying to believe him, or could he actually be the most unlucky man in the world and dating sites that he is not accessing keep appearing on his ipad!!

Thanks in advance for any advice!

July 24, 2019, 08:12:12 AM
Reply #1


Please get in touch with me. I have a similar situation


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