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Author Topic: Is love that mysterious and deep?

November 29, 2018, 08:16:45 PM
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Lamstaestee


Please help!
So I’ve been together with my bf for a year now. We had many fights in the past, mostly due to my depression and anxiety. In May, I accidentally hurt him and it caused him severe pain and anxiety. But after that he decided to forgive me. At the end of August, he intended to leave me because he felt so miserable with me due to my unstable emotion. But after I told him that I agreed to end the relationship, he felt really sad in a way he never felt in his life before. So he decided to stay with me, and helped me to cope with my depression. As I’m getting better, both of us think we have a stronger connection than in the past.
Everyone who knows that I have mentally and physically hurt him before, and see he’s really caring and tolerate with me right now, all think that he really loves me. BUT, he never said that three words, and I asked him about it 2 months ago, he said he sometimes still feel a little uneasy, not totally relaxing with me, and sometimes even feel relaxed after I left his place. And also sometimes our conversation didn’t  flow well (I’m fluent in English but didn’t grow up in US) He also said he didn’t worry too much about this relationship right now, just naturally wait and see how it goes. Then I told him that everyone I know thinks everything he’s doing right now demonstrates his deep love to me. On hearing that, he said he thinks love is more deep, like a soulmate thing, he’s never felt it before so he’s not sure how it feels like. But he said if love is this shallow, he won’t be interested in pursuing love or marriage later in his life because that’s not profound enough to worth the time and effort. So is he too ideal or what? How could you tell if you feel love or not? Our conversation flow better now and we exchange a lot more interesting ideas, it seems everything is on the right track, but I’m afraid if he still doesn’t feel love, I will be heart broken after this long time and all the efforts I put in. Btw he’s almost 30 and I’m 5 years younger than him.
Welcome all ideas and comments, thank you!

January 02, 2019, 07:21:51 PM
Reply #1
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goodevening


Please help!
So I’ve been together with my bf for a year now. We had many fights in the past, mostly due to my depression and anxiety. In May, I accidentally hurt him and it caused him severe pain and anxiety. But after that he decided to forgive me. At the end of August, he intended to leave me because he felt so miserable with me due to my unstable emotion. But after I told him that I agreed to end the relationship, he felt really sad in a way he never felt in his life before. So he decided to stay with me, and helped me to cope with my depression. As I’m getting better, both of us think we have a stronger connection than in the past.
Everyone who knows that I have mentally and physically hurt him before, and see he’s really caring and tolerate with me right now, all think that he really loves me. BUT, he never said that three words, and I asked him about it 2 months ago, he said he sometimes still feel a little uneasy, not totally relaxing with me, and sometimes even feel relaxed after I left his place. And also sometimes our conversation didn’t  flow well (I’m fluent in English but didn’t grow up in US) He also said he didn’t worry too much about this relationship right now, just naturally wait and see how it goes. Then I told him that everyone I know thinks everything he’s doing right now demonstrates his deep love to me. On hearing that, he said he thinks love is more deep, like a soulmate thing, he’s never felt it before so he’s not sure how it feels like. But he said if love is this shallow, he won’t be interested in pursuing love or marriage later in his life because that’s not profound enough to worth the time and effort. So is he too ideal or what? How could you tell if you feel love or not? Our conversation flow better now and we exchange a lot more interesting ideas, it seems everything is on the right track, but I’m afraid if he still doesn’t feel love, I will be heart broken after this long time and all the efforts I put in. Btw he’s almost 30 and I’m 5 years younger than him.
Welcome all ideas and comments, thank you!

Hi @Lamstaestee , sorry that you're going through this but you shouldn't ever hit someone.

Can you expand on what you mean by accidentally hurt him?

Apologies that no1 has replied to you, can you give us an update on the situtation, have things improved at all since you posted in November?

 

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