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Author Topic: Should I avoid him or is it all in my head?

October 02, 2018, 02:31:25 AM
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Kiara


So there is this man that I know at my church but we are not close friends just mostly an acquaintances and I see him at social gatherings. I have known him for 4 years and the situation I am about to describe has happened during this time period.  First time I noticed something is when I was talking to him with another man  and him together, he did not look at me that much but stared down at his notebook and kept smiling. He was rather quiet while the other guy and I were engaged in the conversation. Later I will catch him several times stare at me when I left my seat to use the bathroom during church service ( Could see through the windows). One day he came up to my car to talk to me while I was inside and he was outside got really close bended down to my eye level and was smiling and asking me questions. Then after he walked away with some distance away we both turned around and looked at each other with smiles on our faces. Another time while I was tending to some kids, I turned around to catch him looking at me with these lustful eyes . He was bended over on a table acting like he was writing something only to be staring at me. I saw him and quickly looked away. But his eyes had this longing look on it. Many times too he has come up to me in church to talk and he got really in my personal space with a smile on his face with which he will look at the ground and then look at me but then  I move back a little and to the side so people did not think something was going on between us. Recently at parties I have seen him  stealing glances at me from afar with a closed smile and when I saw him I quickly look down or away not to show sign of interest. At one time too when he was leaving a party he got close to me by the side and whispered bye in a slow manner with a smile like it was our little secret. This caught me off guard so I did not look at him but said bye quickly and nicely. But then still caught of guard and wondering what just happened, I looked across the room to see him smiling and looking at me.But I quickly looked away. The crazy thing is that we are both married to others so I am trying to avoid problems but it seems that he is attracted to me and I am fancing that but trying to be careful. Another time at another social gathering he stared at me and I looked at him only  for me again to to quickly look down. The same day when my husband and I were talking and smiling  at each other he was looking at us and when I caught him I quickly looked down.when I looked seconds later he looked away. The most recent situation is after church he walked toward me and stood really really close to me looked at me in the eye with no smile but raising is eyebrows at me like he expected me to say something. I had my head lowered like I was looking at other things so when he got really close I raised my eyes and eyebrows to him with a smile and said hi but did it in a weird manner to signal to him what does he want from me when he did not say anything. Then he looked down slowly and smiled to himself and walked away without saying anything. So I have been trying to figure what that meant. The next church service I did not look at him at all but I could see him looking and stealing glances at me from afar. He noticed I did not give him attention because the last encounter was really awkward. I really want to know if he really likes me, or want me or not. I have avoided getting close to him or his family partly bc of this. Please advice...

« Last Edit: October 04, 2018, 03:17:04 PM by Kiara »

October 17, 2018, 05:37:41 PM
Reply #1
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missg


So there is this man that I know at my church but we are not close friends just mostly an acquaintances and I see him at social gatherings. I have known him for 4 years and the situation I am about to describe has happened during this time period.  First time I noticed something is when I was talking to him with another man  and him together, he did not look at me that much but stared down at his notebook and kept smiling. He was rather quiet while the other guy and I were engaged in the conversation. Later I will catch him several times stare at me when I left my seat to use the bathroom during church service ( Could see through the windows). One day he came up to my car to talk to me while I was inside and he was outside got really close bended down to my eye level and was smiling and asking me questions. Then after he walked away with some distance away we both turned around and looked at each other with smiles on our faces. Another time while I was tending to some kids, I turned around to catch him looking at me with these lustful eyes . He was bended over on a table acting like he was writing something only to be staring at me. I saw him and quickly looked away. But his eyes had this longing look on it. Many times too he has come up to me in church to talk and he got really in my personal space with a smile on his face with which he will look at the ground and then look at me but then  I move back a little and to the side so people did not think something was going on between us. Recently at parties I have seen him  stealing glances at me from afar with a closed smile and when I saw him I quickly look down or away not to show sign of interest. At one time too when he was leaving a party he got close to me by the side and whispered bye in a slow manner with a smile like it was our little secret. This caught me off guard so I did not look at him but said bye quickly and nicely. But then still caught of guard and wondering what just happened, I looked across the room to see him smiling and looking at me.But I quickly looked away. The crazy thing is that we are both married to others so I am trying to avoid problems but it seems that he is attracted to me and I am fancing that but trying to be careful. Another time at another social gathering he stared at me and I looked at him only  for me again to to quickly look down. The same day when my husband and I were talking and smiling  at each other he was looking at us and when I caught him I quickly looked down.when I looked seconds later he looked away. The most recent situation is after church he walked toward me and stood really really close to me looked at me in the eye with no smile but raising is eyebrows at me like he expected me to say something. I had my head lowered like I was looking at other things so when he got really close I raised my eyes and eyebrows to him with a smile and said hi but did it in a weird manner to signal to him what does he want from me when he did not say anything. Then he looked down slowly and smiled to himself and walked away without saying anything. So I have been trying to figure what that meant. The next church service I did not look at him at all but I could see him looking and stealing glances at me from afar. He noticed I did not give him attention because the last encounter was really awkward. I really want to know if he really likes me, or want me or not. I have avoided getting close to him or his family partly bc of this. Please advice...

hi @Kiara apologies that no1 responded to you but do you have an update on this? How is he being now?

he sounds like a very suspicious person but that could be his way of flirting, how old is he, how old does he look?

How old are you?

October 18, 2018, 09:52:10 PM
Reply #2
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missg


Thanks. Glad you responded. I am in my mid 30s and he is in his 40s.  He was talking to another man and I looked over in the corner of my eye  seeing him looking at me. But we had spoken recently with a group of people and he was very friendly and looking directly at me.  We were all laughing too. Then when everyone left it was just him and I talking at one point when I put my hands up  to emphasize my point while talking he touched or grazed my fingers (rather quick) with his hands. I have never seen him touch any women like that. We tried to act friendly toward each other. But he gave me alot of eye contact and smiles.

hmm maybe he does like u then @Kiara, could the graze have been an accident? x

October 19, 2018, 09:56:27 AM
Reply #3
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missg


It was a slight grab of my fingers but I do not know him to do that. He usually does not touch the people much when talking to them.

hmm, that's slightly weird (if done deliberately!), but it you like him them maybe he's showing affection and interest?  ;D

have you seen him since, has he done anything else? x

October 19, 2018, 04:48:06 PM
Reply #4
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missg


No, this just happened recently. But why do you think is actions are suspicious or weird. Can you please elaborate?

no sure tbh! but if he's deliberately trying to touch your hand while you are speaking to him i think that's quite odd/confident move, especially as he's married.

What is your stance currently? Do you like him? what about your current marriage? why are you concerned here? if you are, then you should stay away from him (i think) as it will only cause problems for your existing relationship


 

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