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Author Topic: Infidelity

March 19, 2019, 11:12:47 AM
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Transience96


Ok. I need advice. I feel so troubled and like i cant be at peace. I even dream of him. I know what i should do. But it's not easy.

The beginning...

A few years ago I met a guy online and while it was just to hang out/hook up, we both had such a good time together. We continued like this for almost 2 years. It wasn't an every day thing. We'd go days even weeks without speaking but everytime we got together it was so easy to pick up where we left off. I knew there was something to him. But i didnt pursued him because i was 19 and afraid of rejection. Need i point out he didnt try to make us exclusive or anything either. We both just did our thing and were fine with it. It wasn't until a period of time that we didnt talk at all that i had found a guy that rather quickly jumped the gun and we were an item almost instantly. It made me forget about... let's call him J. So then things took a turn and before i knew it i had moved out of state and had an unplanned pregnancy. We decided to keep him and he's now 15 months and we love him.

Now the tricky messy part.

In the first couple months of my pregnancy, J decided it was time to make a move. He finally wanted to come clean and admit his feelings. I was torn. With all the pain in my heart i told him i was with someone and pregnant. He was so respectful and we left it at that. Mind you, we still kept in touch. Now fast forward to halfway through my pregnancy. My boyfriend, R, wanted to mess up our relationship. He didnt know of the J situation and i never felt he needed to because i hadnt done anything wrong then. One day we were in bed and his phone rings and he checks his messages with another girl right besides me. I shouldve left him then but
 I was pregnant and pretty much helpless. That completely broke the trust and respect and i dont see him the same at all since that day. I stayed with him for my son. I was truly hurting because i felt betrayed. I thought we were something more. So in my loneliness i message J and tell him all about it. Now, was it wrong of J to try to make a move while all this is going on? Yeah. But in my head, the relationship is already ruined. J decides to fly out to me, states away, and we spend a weekend together. It's there i realize i really still feel a special way with him. But we're still vague about Us. Months go by. R is caught talking to another girl, way more involved this time. By now i hate him. Im disgusted. Im going crazy. So i have an ongoing fantasy with J and we are planning on meeting up this coming summer.

I dont feel right about this. I know i should leave R. I know i should really just confront J about what the heck we are. But my first thought is always I need to make sure my child is taken care of. And im scared to not choose right by him.

Tl;dr
I have a kid with a cheater whom i no longer love, and cheated on him with a guy I've had feelings for years and dONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. im depressed.

March 26, 2019, 05:13:46 AM
Reply #1
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Sona


It has been a little more than a long time since I was first determined to have antenatal dejection. I would now be able to state that I've nearly recouped, yet not completely. The experience of gloom has really changed as long as I can remember. I needed to take a long, hard and excruciating see myself including how I failed to take care of myself.

I contrast feeling discouraged and the sentiments of a 5-year-old who didn't have an inkling what to look like after herself in this enormous terrible world. I was so inconceivably terrified and simply needed somebody to take me by the hand and nestle and hold me until I felt good. The terrible news was that individuals could just sustain me for brief timeframes, for example, similar to the 1-hour sessions with a clinician rather than for an entire month. I simply needed to figure out how to do it for myself.

It was so inconceivably hard and I had a craving for surrendering ordinarily. I don't know how I traversed a portion of the downright awful days, yet by one way or another I did. I achieved a point where I wound up decided not to be beaten by this damn ailment; I merited satisfaction and my family merited a glad spouse and mother.

So all around gradually the mists began to lift and my inclination turned out to be better for somewhat longer timeframes. Regardless I had days when any exertion of picking up happiness out of life appeared to be miserable, however, they turned out to be less successive. I needed to destroy my entire existence together to discover methods for improving my life and that implied evolving. Making a huge difference it appeared … from the manner in which I saw myself to changing the manner in which I cleaned my home. I expected to discover harmony between caring for myself and caring for my family. I needed to grapple with the way that I am in no way, shape or form impeccable. I have defects like each other person on this planet and that is impeccably alright!
« Last Edit: July 29, 2019, 01:20:15 PM by Staff »

 

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