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Author Topic: In love with my best male friend of 20 yrs (im a girl). Its all gone wrong..

December 16, 2019, 06:15:29 PM
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williever


So I have been with my husband of 12.5 years for nearly 20 yrs.  we're getting divorced due to domestic violence and he's being prosecuted by the police.  My decree Nisi came through a  couple of months ago.
I have a best male friend of 20yrs, hes my rock, my sole mate, my full stop.  Ive always loved him, but nothing has ever happened between us.  We had never ever spoken about feelings which were not platonic.

Anyway, after I started divorce proceedings, I told him how I felt, I just had too.  I would of regretted it if i hadn't.  Finally after all these years we were both single, him also divorced.  People often assumed we were a couple due to our bond and the connection we have.
Afte my heartfelt confession, he confessed he felt the same and we started a slow relationship.  As time has gone on, I have become very emotional with my divorce abd pending court case for my ex husband.  Who became very unpredicatable when he found out and tried to get my babies taken aeway from me.
Our relationship has been over shadowed by darkness, and the one person I would turn to is no longer there.  His stress levels are through the roof and we're sniping at each other all the time, due to the stress of being in a relationship which was kept a secret due to my unhinged husband, and not having a best friend to moan to.
We're both a mess emotionally and within our work and general lives.  He wants us to sort ourselves out, get the court case out of the way and the divorce finalised so we can be together properly. 
I agree with him, but am devastated, my heart is so broken, I find it hard to even be in the same room with him.
He says give it a couple of months for things top settle and we can see how things are then...Is he giving me the gentle let down?
He seems so relaxed and content now, he's either amazing at hiding his feelings from me for the 1st time ever or he doesnt love me in that way...its not worth the headache or was I a notch on his bedpost. 
Is he playing the "ill keep my options open card", has my best friend dropped me after wondering what it would be like to have a leg over?
im so confused.....
Some male advice or females who have fallen in love with their best friends would be great.
Should I wait for him or accept the gentle let down and walk away?
I miss my best friend so much, I wish now id never told him I loved him and crossed the relationship line. 

December 17, 2019, 04:38:14 AM
Reply #1
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Captain Black


From what you have posted ,this other guys still thinks a lot of you. However what he is finding difficult to handle is your emotional state from this messy divorce . I think his intentions are good in giving you space to get things sorted out but I think you need his support as well. This is what IMO you need to ask him to do is to support you .

Things should get better once the divorce is all sorted but it will take time .

 

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