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Author Topic: I read my gf's diary

May 26, 2019, 12:11:52 PM
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Persephone


I just moved in with my girlfriend yesterday. I am 30 and she is 34. I have never been in a relationship with a man but I am her first "gay" relationship. We've been together for almost 2 years.
When I was organizing stuff in our new apartment, I noticed a notebook.
I opened it and realized that it was her diary. I know it's stupid but I read one entry because I saw my name mentioned. She wrote that she felt bad for lying and how she doesn't want to loose me but she also doesn't want to loose Richard.
I don't know who Richard is. I am scared to confront her about this because I read her diary. But I am also think maybe she cheated on me with Richard.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up with her. I also feel super weird because we did just move in together.

May 27, 2019, 01:40:42 PM
Reply #1
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kellystein


My mother used to say that when you look for trouble you usually find trouble... And somehow, I've always found out that she was right on so many levels.
Her diary is is a place where she can express herself without being "judged" and where she can let go of all her thoughts. However you may look at it, you were never supposed to look at it.
But you have and you found out things you wish you may have not.
Things aren't really clear but I'd advise you to look at the present situation and pay closer attention to how things are going on and evolving with her.
Leave what you saw on that notebook and stay in the present, she just moved in with you so there's something there.
If you feel like something is odd with her, that things aren't going the way they're supposed to then maybe you can discuss with her about it all. But leave it a week or two!

May 31, 2019, 04:02:57 PM
Reply #2
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MonaM


Things written in a diary aren't necessarily a literal representation of reality.  Sometimes they are fantasies or they are symbolic of something else.  For example, her sentence might really mean that she is mourning her heterosexual self a little bit and is trying to get used to her homosexual self.  Even in a relationship, people are allowed to have private thoughts.  Her diary represents her private thoughts.  Please relax and give her the privacy that she deserves.

June 01, 2019, 11:16:15 AM
Reply #3
Offline

bbfrc77


I just moved in with my girlfriend yesterday. I am 30 and she is 34. I have never been in a relationship with a man but I am her first "gay" relationship. We've been together for almost 2 years.
When I was organizing stuff in our new apartment, I noticed a notebook.
I opened it and realized that it was her diary. I know it's stupid but I read one entry because I saw my name mentioned. She wrote that she felt bad for lying and how she doesn't want to loose me but she also doesn't want to loose Richard.
I don't know who Richard is. I am scared to confront her about this because I read her diary. But I am also think maybe she cheated on me with Richard.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up with her. I also feel super weird because we did just move in together.
Totally okay to. Just admit you made a mistake by reading it. By you then would like to know about Richard and what was lied about. Went through the exact same thing 20 years ago.

 

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